OLD AND BUSTED: Steal This Book. (And more recently, the NPR-approved In Defense of Looting.) 

The New Hotness? Thieves destroy nearly 75 Detroit fire hydrants to steal metal parts, putting lives at risk.

Thieves have destroyed nearly 75 fire hydrants on the west side of Detroit in the last 48 hours, stealing parts and putting lives at risk.

Crews with the Detroit Water and Sewerage Department are racing to repair the broken hydrants along Southfield Road and across the west side after thieves tore through dozens in about two days.

“We think the number is about 75 so far,” DWSD Deputy Director Sam Smalley said.

The thieves are targeting metal nozzles and stems on top of the hydrants, which are worth about $600.

Executive Fire Commissioner Chuck Simms said the vandalism is a serious and unacceptable situation that puts lives at risk.

“No matter how fast we get to a fire, if we don’t have an operable fire hydrant, it takes seconds, sometimes even minutes away from maybe us saving lives,” Simms said.

In 1967, the New York Review of Books published on its cover the instructions for making a Molotov Cocktail. Meanwhile, the theft of fire hydrants in 2026 Detroit sounds like it would be New York Times approved. Good luck putting that Molotov Cocktail out.

Exit quote:

UPDATE:

Tweet concludes, “Like they say about trans, petty theft has always been with us. OK, now go do it in a jurisdiction where they prosecute shoplifting, instead of one where they celebrate it. I mean, if you really want to be cool.”