WHATEVER YOU DO, don’t mock the mustard. “Insecurity breeds anger, and nowhere is that insecurity more evident than on left-wing blogs. Some seek to impose a new commandment, ‘thou shall not mock Obama.’ And if that means ‘thou shall not mock Obama’s mustard,’ then so it is written, so it is done.”

Personally, I’m quite fond of Grey Poupon — but then, I’m a pointy-headed law professor who went to Yale, so what do I know? Gulden’s is nice, too. But in a different way. Still, my condiment-blogging first love remains ketchup.

Plus, a divider, not a uniter?

And, not exactly Commander-in-Brief? See, now that lefty political uber-God Jon Stewart has said it’s okay to make fun of Obama on the burger thing, doesn’t John Amato feel silly? It’s like being Lillian Hellman after the Hitler/Stalin pact fell apart. Left hanging. Only with mustard instead of mayo.