AMERICA’S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD: The Babylon Bee Would Like To Inform Tim Walz We Are Now A Functioning Daycare In Minnesota.

We at The Babylon Bee would like to let Governor Tim Walz know that we are now a fully functioning daycare in Minnesota serving literally millions of children.

After taking a long, hard look at our business model, we felt it financially prudent to expand beyond satire into the Minnesota daycare business, opening a very real daycare called “Li’l Bees”. We are incredibly proud of the fact that after just one day in operation, Lil’ Bees is taking care of four million children and serving seventy billion meals to starving kids every single day. It’s not much, but we are glad to be playing our little part to serve Minnesotans.

Mr. Walz can make out the check from the state government to cover those expenses to Seth Dillon, proud owner and operator of Lil’ Bees. The check will need to be mailed to a Florida address, which is standard operating procedure for Minnesota daycares.

To be fair, many other “news” outlets already consider themselves to be in the daycare business as well. The Bee is simply making it official.