I’D SAY THE 96% RATIO IS ABOUT RIGHT: Jelly Roll admits he would get rid of 96% of his tattoos if he could: ‘It’s embarrassing.’ I’ve seen some truly beautiful and brilliant tattoos, but most of them are lame. And most people with multiple tattoos seem to just slap them on randomly, like a three year old with a book of stickers. This may be because they were drunk when they got them. Further research is indicated, grant applications forthcoming.

Plus: “I’ve got a Gerber baby smoking a joint tattooed on my arm. I don’t know who authorized this in my life or who was around me at this moment, but I hate them.”