IT DOESN’T LOOK ESPECIALLY “PENIS-LIKE” TO ME, NOR DOES THE CARVING ON IT: This Ancient Blob May Be The Oldest Phallic Depiction Ever Found. Some scientists agree with me: “It’s not even like the object screams ‘sexual organ’. Boston University archaeologist Curtis Runnels, who was not involved in the recent study, told Science the ornament looks ‘rather shapeless’, and at first glance, it’s hard to disagree.”

Plus: “Compared to a full-body artwork, detecting a lone penis can be tricky work, especially when a phallic-like artifact could have more than one use. A curious-looking wooden tool described earlier this year, for instance, could be a 2,000-year-old dildo, or it could be a drop spindle used to spin fiber. Hey, maybe it was both.”