MARK MIDDLETON, LIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN, DIDN’T KILL HIMSELF: Family of Bill Clinton advisor who admitted Jeffrey Epstein into White House seven times has blocked release of files detailing the death scene after he was found hanging from a tree with a shotgun blast at a ranch 30 miles from his home. Well, the family doesn’t want to commit suicide by being shot in the back of the head.

We joke about this stuff, but we really do live under a banana-republic gangster government, where questionable “suicides” are a common occurrence.