JEFF GOLDSTEIN: When Turnips Attack! Joe Biden is the most dangerous threat to the US since the Civil War. “Remember the instructive, sober words of communication luminary, Karine Jean-Pierre: you’re considered an extremist if you disagree with the progressive political consensus. Opposition to the ruling party is an act of insurrection.”

President Turnip has F-15s. Do you? President Turnip directs a military armed with non-gendered pronouns and led by a thick-bodied, bag-eyed yes man in touch with his privilege and aware of his own white rage. Do you? President Turnip has the unwavering support of Max Boot and Jen Rubin — two of this country’s most beautiful minds. Do you?

“Dark Brandon,” flanked by Marines and backed by Hellish lighting, mumbled, shouted, and emoted his way through a Hitleresque scapegoating of large swaths of the population. And his call to arms has energized all the woke and virtuous defenders of democracy, who are now demanding a one-party system and the shunning of Republicans as lesser humans. Because, in the same way you sometimes have to destroy villages to save them, sometimes you have to become an unelected Administrative dictatorship to save democracy from the benighted and filthy MAGAts who so frustratingly vote incorrectly.

President Turnip’s speech — presented with the full backing of the Executive branch and its law enforcement and justice arms — was perhaps the most egregious speech ever given by a US president. It was more than simply divisive. It was tacit permission to treat those who don’t favor progressive governance as enemies of the State. It’s the summer of 2020 with presidential approval. It’s dangerous. It’s unconscionable.

Yes.