GRANDMOTHERBLOGGING: Went out to visit my grandmother at the home Skilled Nursing Facility. I hadn’t been able to see her for a while — the flu epidemic meant that the place was closed to visitors for the past couple of weeks. And I was the only one who went today, as the Insta-Wife and Insta-Daughter, still somewhat sick, were a bit iffy. (Not me. Tamiflu rocks.)

She’s doing well, as the physical therapy has brought back most of the use of her arm already, though it’s still not strong enough to let her walk with a cane, which is key. But she’s pretty tired of being there, as you might imagine. She has some cronies that she enjoys, but it’s basically like living in a dorm without getting out for classes or weekend partying.

The secret to popularity there, though, is food. I took barbecue sandwiches for four, meaning that the cronies who eat with her got barbecue instead of the usual institutional food, which is, well, about as good as dorm food. I also took her a box of Godiva chocolates for Valentine’s day, and — on the “did you bring enough for everyone?” principle — I took small Godiva boxes for the cronies, too. One in particular, who doesn’t have much in the way of family, seemed especially pleased to be remembered.

Though, at 90, she’s one of the older people there, my grandmother is doing better than most. She’s grateful for that, but it’s still hard on her being there instead of being in her own home, where she’s lived for nearly fifty years. When people say “old age isn’t for sissies,” it’s not just a joke. I admire how she and her friends deal with it, but it’s still a lousy thing to have to deal with.

Is there a point to this? Not really, except that I really do think that aging is a disease, and I wish we could do something about it. Everybody in that place used to be healthy and strong; even the best of them now are sadly declined from their previous state. Yeah, it’s “natural” — but so is smallpox.

UPDATE: Reader Paul Havemann emails:

Do you talk to her about her life, her parents, her grandparents, and the times they lived in? I have no idea whether you are into genealogy, or even family history, but someone down the line would certainly love it if you preserved some of the memories your grandmother carries. That stuff is golden.

I regret not having done that with my grandparents (and my great- grandmother; she could have told me so much), but it didn’t occur to me until after they were gone. It would have meant a lot to them, too.

I’m not very much into genealogy — see the Heinlein piece about the lizard — but I do like to listen to the family stories.