A FRIEND ON FACEBOOK SUMMARIZES AN NPR SEGMENT ON EDUCATION:
Hilarious NPR, last week’s edition. They had an hour-long segment on learning pods. Participants: Host (white woman), Black Woman Activist, Asian Woman Parent, School-System Man.
Slightly editorialized (but true!) recollections below.
Host: In wealthy areas, parents get together and organize learning pods. What do we make of it?
School-System Man: Inequitable! Inappropriate! Bad! We do not support it!
Asian Woman Parent: Equity requires that we form these pods to educate our own children! Otherwise, only the rich can get education! Rich bad!
Host: Rich bad.
School-System Man: Rich horrible! They withdraw kids from public schools during the pandemic, so schools have less money!
Asian Woman Parent: We have no choice. You are not teaching.
Host: But what are you doing for the equity?
Asian Woman Parent: Why are the parents supposed to be doing something for the equity? That’s why we pay taxes, so professionals do something!
School-System Man: We cannot fix equity if you are clandestinely educating your own children, but not everyone else’s children!
Asian Woman Parent: The proper solution would have been to end the pandemic. But Trump did not end the pandemic. So, we must do learning pods. As soon as the pandemic is over, we’ll get back to normal, and everyone will catch up.
Everyone [with great relief]: Trump bad. Bad.
Black Woman Activist: No, wait a minute. This sounds as though in a regular school year, black children get good education. And they are getting terrible education! Unacceptable!
Host: Bad Trump!
Black Woman Activist: Foggeraboutit! It’s not Trump! It’s always been terrible! Black children are dumped into horrible public schools, where nobody is teaching them! So, my organization is now helping organize these learning pods for minority kids everywhere.
School-System Man [cautiously]: This is only helping Trump…
Black Woman Activist: Forget Trump! Don’t tell me black kids get no education because things are not normal now. When things were normal, their education was just as bad!
School-System Man: Whut??? How dare you! Our public schools are the best thing that ever happened to black children.
Asian Woman Parent: I’ll second that. Public schools in my neighborhood are just svelte.
Black Woman Activist: That’s the point! You live in a rich suburb, and your kids get a great public school! Black kids don’t!
Asian Woman Parent: If Trump managed the pandemic properly, we would not be having this conversation.
Host: Bad Trump!
Everyone: Bad Trump!
The end.
#OrangeManBad.