TO THE SINGLE WOMEN OF THE BLOGOSPHERE: How can you pass up an offer like this?

I have a good job, plenty of money and I own my own home. I am a talented musician, a great conversationalist and I give wonderful back-rubs, complete with aromatic lotions applied by my stong but gentle fingers. I do front-rubs, too. I am an excellent cook and I am not bald. I like candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach and blah, blah, blah.

Well, okay, there are a couple of minor catches to this deal. . . .