THERE’S NO IQ TEST FOR THE NBA: Watch infected NBA player Rudy Gobert mock coronavirus precautions by touching a bunch of stuff before he realized he was sick. “I doubt we’ll get a better case study during this nightmare of how a single person’s cavalier denialism about the threat from the disease can put entire industries at risk. This happened two days ago. Gobert apparently thought it was silly that the NBA had set a new rule requiring reporters to stay six feet away from players at all time. So, as a goof, he decided to touch all of their microphones after his Q&A ended. Word leaked last night that he had tested positive for COVID-19. The game between his team, the Utah Jazz, and the Oklahoma City Thunder was immediately canceled minutes before tip-off. Five NBA teams are now in self-quarantine. The season is on hiatus and may not resume in time for the playoffs. Reporters in the room for Gobert’s Q&A are worried that they have the illness too.”

As we used to say in 8th grade, “Smooth move, Ex-Lax.”