DEAR BABYLON BEE, IT’S 2020. THE NEW YORK TIMES IS MORE INCOHERENT THAN EVER. YOU’VE BEEN AMERICA’S REAL PAPER OF RECORD FOR A WHILE NOW. ADMIT IT. ROLL WITH IT. STOP PRETENDING THIS IS ALL SATIRE. YOU KNOW YOU’RE REPORTING THE REAL NEWS: Buttigieg Calls For Decriminalizing Crime.
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