THE SEGWAY MUST BE HORRIBLY DANGEROUS! How do we know? Because there are no data on accidents!

Horace Hinshaw, spokesman for the Postal Service in San Francisco, said there have been no problems with the Segways being tested in the city. The only reported accident nationally appears to have been in Atlanta — where an employee of one of the several agencies there that use the scooters fell off.

That didn’t stop the San Francisco protesters from carrying signs saying: “Stop the Segway slaughter,” and “Segway: Zero Emissions, Senior Killer.” . . .

The group’s executive director, Bob Livingston, tried to get on the machine and ended up plowing into furniture. Price said the board voted unanimously to oppose any and all use of the scooter where the elderly might encounter one.

“It really did scare a lot of our people,” Price said. “If that machine comes down the sidewalk behind you, you never know what it’s going to do. It could be disastrous.”

This just defies parody.

(Via Faisal.Com.)