June 18, 2002

THE INDEPUNDIT SAYS the World Cup is a diplomatic disaster for the United States:

This past weekend, Team USA upset “El Tri,” the Mexican National Team 2-0, to enter the quarterfinals. The US is now officially a Superpower in every respect, along with Germany, Italy, South Korea, Turkey, Japan, England, and Brazil. The French are really pissed.

The fact that our team is in the quarterfinals and most Americans are completely oblivious is especially grating to those we have defeated. Yesterday, police had to break up Mexicans who were gathered at the border crossing from El Paso to Juarez, because they were throwing rocks at cars with American license plates – and the Americans had no idea why it was happening! . . .

But the important thing is that we should celebrate big time in the unlikely event that we win, or we’ll be in big trouble with the Germans – not to mention the Mexicans, who are already on the verge of declaring war . If we lose (which we probably will), we need to be visibly upset at everything German, and crying in the streets. We should all resolve to wear black for a week, and boycott German beer. It’s our patriotic duty.

This is the natural order of things – we upset it at our own peril.

You have been warned. But does Colin Powell know? And is he even now counseling the U.S. team to throw the game in the interests of not provoking the rest of the world?

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