DAVE CHAPELLE TO SHOW-BUSINESS WOMEN: WOMAN UP! “One lady said, ‘Louis C.K. masturbated in front of me, ruined my comedy dreams,’ Word? Well then I dare say, madam, you may have never had a dream.”

“Come on man, that’s a brittle spirit. That is a brittle-ass spirit, that is too much, this grown-ass woman… Show business is just harder than that… I know that sounds fucked up, I’m not supposed to say that, but one of these ladies was like, ‘Louis C.K .was masturbating while I was on the phone with him.’ Bitch, you don’t know how to hang up a phone? How the fuck are you going to survive in show business if this is an actual obstacle to your dreams?”