July 13, 2017

NOT ALL FEMINISTS ARE TERRIBLE MOTHERS, BUT THE ONES WHO WRITE ABOUT MOTHERING SEEM AWFUL: I’m Done Pretending Men Are Safe (Even My Sons). “One of my sons was hurt by my words, although he’s never told me so. He doesn’t understand why I lumped him and his brother together in my essay. He sees himself as the ‘good’ one, the one who is sensitive and thoughtful, and who listens instead of reacts. He doesn’t understand that even quiet misogyny is misogyny, and that not all sexists sound like Twitter trolls. He is angry at me now, although he won’t admit that either, and his anger led him to conservative websites and YouTube channels; places where he can surround himself with righteous indignation against feminists, and tell himself it’s ungrateful women like me who are the problem.”

He’s right. You are the problem. Plus: “As a single mother, I sometimes wonder whether the real problem is that my sons have no role models for the type of men I hope they become. But when I look around at the men I know, I’m not sure a male partner would fill that hole.” The quality men you want don’t want an angry feminist such as yourself, who’s disloyal even to her own sons. Why would they?

You think men are bad because you make bad decisions. You let yourself off the hook for those because “empowerment,” but you judge your sons with microscopic harshness. You lead a life that ensures your sons will have no close positive role models. Angry feminist single moms, I suspect, are disproportionately the mothers of the alt-right.

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