AS MARK TWAIN SAID, to do good is noble, but to teach others to do good is nobler still, and less trouble. Why aren’t ethicists better people? Having spent my childhood among ethicist types, some quite eminent, I suspect that they’re actually worse people than average, but smugger about it. This is a close corollary to my theory that philosophy was originally invented to justify drinking too much and cheating on your spouse, and that it has never gotten far from its roots.