SEE, I’VE BEEN JOKING THAT I’M STILL IN “LATE YOUTH,” BUT NOW MY VIEWS ARE SUPPORTED BY SCIENCE!!! Middle age begins at 60, say researchers. “It was not so very long ago that hitting the milestone birthday of 40 was the time to accept that middle age had arrived. No more. Researchers have suggested that mid-life begins at 60, just as most people are contemplating the joys of retirement and a free bus pass. Scientists say that with increased life expectancy we need to rethink our ideas of what constitutes middle and old age otherwise the proportion of elderly people will continue to grow.”

I suggest that we define “old age” as starting at 90, thus drastically shrinking the “proportion of elderly people.” Because science!