TEACH WOMEN NOT TO, WELL, DO ANY OF THIS, REALLY: Horny Mom Threw Teen Daughter a Naked Twister Sex Party, AA Sponsor Says. “Lehnardt’s alleged story to her sober buddy only gets wilder from there. According to Augusta Crime: She initially joined in the teens’ naked game of Twister, but ended up f*cking an 18-year-old in the bathroom. Later, because she was still ‘horny,’ she brought out some sex toys and began using them on herself in the living room. The whole naked party eventually moved to the hot tub. . . . The night ended for Lehnardt around 3:30 a.m., when she woke up in her bed to find her daughter’s 16-year-old boyfriend having sex with her.”

And, of course, the piece de resistance: “Mrs. Lehnardt told [the sponsor] she and her daughter had spoken and that her daughter ‘felt guilty because the 16-year-old was 10 inches long and huge, and if she had just been able to take it, he wouldn’t have needed to rape her mother.'”

Sure, you’re saying, he initiated the sex with her. But reverse the genders and there would probably be charges. Well, maybe not: “The horny mom, arrested based on the sponsor’s story, won’t face any sex-related charges because 16 is Georgia’s age of consent.”