LIFE IN THE 21ST CENTURY: Lab scientists grow mini human tear glands that cry.

NONESSENTIAL WORKERS: Chicago Teacher’s Union Told Members To Hide Vaccination Status.

OUT ON A LIMB: Bubble Biden clearly not up for tough questions — or the job.

It’s early, but not too early to give Politico the scoop-of-the-year award for this: “The president so far has surprised some of his former colleagues and allies with a largely gaffe-free White House debut after a lifetime of verbal stumbles.”

The hoops you have to jump through — and with your eyes closed! — to reach a sweeping conclusion like that is what makes it award-winning. First, you must, at least temporarily, steel your mind to reject any contrary facts, including that President Biden has not held a press conference, meaning the chance for gaffes and inanities is basically zero because he always gets to read from a TelePrompter.

You also have to overlook the fact that he is only slightly more willing to agree to interview requests, which also reduces his chances to screw up. Finally, you have to pretend that he didn’t commit the many gaffes he committed when he did venture to talk with the media.

Other than that, good job. That’s how you win the big prizes in Washington.

Only later, in an on-the-other-hand sequence, do the Politico writers admit the contradictions that obliterate their opening. The most notable is that they point out that after Biden’s lone interview since taking office, with CBS, the White House “had to clarify his comments on whether Trump would receive intelligence briefings, the fate of the $15 minimum wage, and what Iran needed to do in negotiations surrounding the country’s nuclear program.”

No wonder he’s hiding — three major “clarifications” after one interview is a good reason not to do another. But hey, no gaffes, no worries.

The story is in some ways typical of the big picture that shows, now that Donald Trump is gone, the media are free to return to trivial pursuits to protect their chosen president. For four years, we were assured that journalism was about saving American democracy. Now journalism is about … nothing.

No wonder DNC operatives with bylines journalists profess Pravda-levels of love toward Biden, they’re a perfect match for each other.

THOSE ARE . . . SPEED HOLES. THEY MAKE THE GUN GO . . . FASTER. Tamara Keel: Why Do Handguns Have Lightening Cuts on the Slide?

UPDATE:

THE REAL DIFFERENCE IS THAT BIDEN IS LYING WHEN HE SAYS IT: Biden’s Latest Illegal Alien Stance Sounds Just Like Something He Called ‘Inhumane’ When Trump Said It.

THEN STOP VOTING DEM, DUMMIES: Plastics ban back before Colorado legislature despite poll showing majority of Coloradans don’t approve.

SOMETHING IS ROTTEN IN THE GEORGIA SECRETARY OF STATE’S OFFICE:

As for the original, erroneous characterizations given by [Jordan Fuchs, Deputy Secretary of State of Georgia], if she was truly concerned about illegal pressure being applied on the phone call, which Watson claims she did not feel, she could have gone to law enforcement and preserved the call record. Instead, she went to the Washington Post and the recording was put in the trash.

“They secretly recorded the telephone call, mischaracterized its contents to the news media and then attempted to destroy the recording. It is confidence-shattering,” David Shafer, chairman of the Georgia Republican Party, told TAC.

Fuchs’s involvement in the December 23 incident has led many to assume she was the source of the leaked recording from January 2 as well, also published by the Washington Post. Two sources told TAC that this was, in fact, the case. The only three people on Raffensperger’s side of the January 2 call were Raffensperger himself, general counsel Ryan Germany, and Fuchs. Fuchs also had an existing relationship with one of the Post reporters whose byline was on the story.

“She refuses to acknowledge whether she recorded the call on January 2,” Mark Rountree, president of Landmark Communications, tells TAC. “That’s what she’s hiding from.” A second source who works in Georgia politics also identified Fuchs as the source of the January 2 recording.

“She hid from both, but the Washington Post has outed her for the first call. The question now becomes, will they out her in the second call?” Rountree told TAC.

* * * * * * * *

If Fuchs was not the source of the leaked recording, that means there is more than one official in the Georgia Secretary of State’s office who is leaking in a politicized way. That means the office has bigger problems.

As does the DNC-MSM: “WaPo may point to its correction as proof that the paper tries to hold itself accountable, but an honest outlet would have never run the story in the first place. Plus, these corrections never get nearly the same amount of coverage as the initial, false article. The result is an even further divided populace: one side that is angry about a story that is untrue, and the other that is angry at repeatedly being lied to by the media. The former president is right: this is not good for democracy.”

HE’S LYING AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT: Biden Wants Migrants to Stay Home – Maybe He Should Tell Them That Might Be Safer.

EXCLUSIVE: Biden Admin Halts Navy Operations, Orders Soldiers to Undergo ‘Chilling’ Stand-Down Training. “Extremism was narrowly defined as ‘supremacist’ beliefs only. That’s it. Nothing else. Nothing about anarchism, nothing about any group that might be found on the left. Everyone in the room – of every race, incidentally – had a collective hush as the chilling effect of this clearly biased definition dawned on our team. As one person on our team put it, ‘Why does the DoD only care about one kind of extremism? Why do they refuse to talk about antifa? Why is it extremist to attack a Capitol police officer, but not extremist to attack a Portland police officer?’”

You know why. And do read the whole thing.

CHRISTIAN TOTO: Sebastian Maniscalco Has Perfect Question for Cancel Culture Scolds “I got a bunch of the [Dr. Seuss] books. How does this work? Do I have to burn them?”

TRADEOFFS: The potential economic impact of volcano alerts.

THEM THAT HAS, GETS: The fitter you are the better you burn fat.

IT IS UNWISE TO ASK DIFFICULT QUESTIONS, COMRADE: Would St. Patrick be Allowed to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?

THUS ALWAYS TO BAD ELITES.

I LOVE THIS COUNTRY: Americans Are Spending Their Stimulus Checks On Guns.

MOVE ALONG, NOTHING TO SEE HERE: Judge Rules Michigan Secretary Of State Violated State Law With Absentee Ballot Order.

HERD IMMUNITY IS CLOSER THAN WE WERE TOLD: Study: U.S. COVID-19 cases underestimated by half, antibody testing suggests.

THE CORBYNIZATION OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY CONTINUES APACE: Why Did the Grammys Give a Platform to a Known Anti-Semite?

NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG: New Data Show 92,367 Mail Ballots in Nevada Went to Wrong Addresses—in a Single County.

SHOCKER: Pandemic’s second wave less deadly than first in U.S., Europe, study finds.

RETURN TO NORMALCY: How Trump Got Control of the Border — and How Biden Created a Crisis by Throwing It All Away.

COMMUNIST CHINA NEEDS TO PAY FOR ITS MURDEROUS MISMANAGEMENT: State Department Lead Investigator Says Flu Manchu Escaped From Lab.

‘THE MEDIA NEEDS AN INTERVENTION:’ CNN is utterly aghast that GOP Gov. Ron DeSantis has the nerve to ‘[take] credit’ for Florida’s success.

1971: IN FIFTY YEARS WE’LL HAVE FLYING CARS!

2021: Leyna Bloom is first transgender woman of color in Sports Illustrated Swim Issue.

SAY ANYTHING: Conspiracy Theorist Gavin Newsom Says the People Leading His Recall Are Capitol Rioters Who Want to Implant Chips in People.