2020’s REALITY IS TOO CRAZY FOR EVEN THE BABYLON BEE TO SATIRIZE: Candidate Who Killed #MeToo Movement Returns Donation From Notorious Masturbator. Joe Biden refunds $2,800 contribution from comedian Louis C.K.

“YOU GET THE GOVERNMENT YOU DESERVE. GOOD AND HARD.” — H. L. Mencken

THE FDA STRIKES AGAIN: Suffocating Progress. FDA regulations block usage of a feature in Apple Watches that would help millions of users monitor their blood-oxygen levels.

ZOOM: Porsche Taycan Turbo S vs. Tesla Model S Performance: Electric Flattery.

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PAST PERFORMANCE IS NO GUARANTEE OF FUTURE RESULTS: Pelosi Now Says U.S. Should Have Stopped Americans Coming Back From China. “Pelosi had previously joined the chorus of Democrats criticizing the travel ban as racist.”

NICOTINE TO THE RESCUE: Smoke fags, save lives. Christopher Snowdon has fun pondering the low rate of Covid-19 infections among smokers (and the mistaken prediction from Public Health England that smokers would suffer higher casualties):

Let us consider for a moment the policy implications of nicotine being the only tried and tested prophylactic for Covid-19. We could issue Lucky Strikes on prescription. We could #ClapForOurCigarettes every Thursday evening. The case for closing down Public Health England would be stronger than ever. We could open the pubs, but only to smokers and vapers. We might allow a few non-smokers in to enjoy the possible benefits of passive exposure, but only if they stand two metres apart.

France is already testing nicotine patches as protection for patients and health-care workers.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Zinc a key player in immune system strength.

DOOMED: The Subaru BRAT (1977–87). “Imagine, if you can, a truck with factory-mounted seats in the bed — and spotlights the size of a 747’s landing lights mounted on its T-topped roof. If you know this truck, you also know why it’s no longer available. Such fun things are no longer allowed. They are not saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafe! ‘Moms’ are ‘concerned!’ But in 1977, the Safety Cult — which ended such fun things — was still a backwater aberration, like dancing with rattlesnakes — and most people still esteemed fun over fear. There were roofless Broncos and K5 Blazers — and cars with beds.”

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there – because the nanny state was less involved.

NEW YORK CITY: Not just a virus-infested pesthole, but also an engine of inequality. And that’s just what the NYT is telling us!

SUPER GAFFE-O-MATIC ’76: The 18 Times Joe Biden ‘Forgot’ Important Information During His Presidential Run (So Far).

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MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE STILL REPRODUCTIVELY WOMEN: Trans men who’ve been on testosterone can be just as fertile as cis women, landmark study finds.

STRATEGYTALK: China spreading the virus and spreading lies about the virus. Recorded April 10 but gets into the details of Beijing’s narrative warfare campaign. This column from late March sketches some of the key points made in the podcast.

RELATED: The Military and COVID-19. The podcast really discusses some of the Wuhan virus’ effects on military operations around the world.

MEDIA MYTH ALERT: Even in a pandemic, media myths play on.

FEEDING THE KING: A KC-130J tanker refuels a CH-53K King Stallion helicopter over Chesapeake Bay. No, you can’t see the tanker — just its refueling line.

MISSISSIPPI: Jackson mayor temporarily suspends open carry law during COVID-19. “Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba has signed an executive order temporarily suspending open carry for Jackson residents in an effort to lessen the occurence of violent crimes during the COVID-19 civil emergency. . . . In a video released Friday, Mayor Lumumba called for a repeal of Mississippi’s Open Carry Law, citing that the law prevents community members from feeling safe and interferes with law enforcement’s ability to remove illegal guns.”

Yeah, I don’t think that’s the source of your problem, Mr. Mayor.

FLASHBACK: The Man Who Beat the 1957 Flu Pandemic: Pioneering virologist Maurice Hilleman, who is little remembered today, also helped develop nine of the 14 children’s vaccines that are now recommended.

An irascible, no-holds-barred Montana farm boy born in the midst of the 1918-19 influenza pandemic, Hilleman survived diphtheria and Great Depression-era poverty to earn a PhD in microbiology and chemistry at the University of Chicago. Practical and impatient, he turned down the prestige of academia and primarily worked in industry, at the pharmaceutical company E. R. Squibb & Sons and later Merck & Co, where he led vaccine research for 25 years.

An iconoclast who slung swear words like the proverbial sailor, Hilleman helped develop an astounding 40 vaccines: to prevent measles, mumps, rubella, pneumonia, meningitis, hepatitis A and B, and other infectious diseases. The measles vaccine alone has saved an estimated one million lives a year. “Maurice’s genius was in developing vaccines, reliably reproducing them, and [taking charge] of all pharmaceutical facets, from research to marketplace,” biographer Paul A. Offit, MD, told the British Medical Journal for Hilleman’s obituary in 2005. The New York Times later noted that researchers credit him with “saving more lives than any other scientist in the 20th century.”

Sure, but what kind of shirt did he wear?

OLD AND BUSTED: Believe All Women.

The New Hotness? Senate Democrats Refuse To Acknowledge Sexual Assault Accusations Against Joe Biden. “The Daily Caller contacted every Democrat in the Senate, asking them if they would even consider the allegations by Biden’s accuser, Tara Reade, who has accused the then-senator of kissing her, touching her and penetrating her with his fingers without her consent in 1993. Each Senate office was given 24 hours to respond but not one did.”

UPDATE: Biden Should Drop Out or Take a Lie Detector Test, Roger Simon writes.