IN THE SAME WAY EATING YOUR OWN LEG WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE:  Wuhan Virus Watch: Senate Stimulus Package Will Keep Economy Running for Three Months.

THE TRULY HORRIFYING TOLL:  Coronavirus’ Other Toll: 3.2 Million Americans Filed for Unemployment Last Week.

SOMEDAY I’LL WRITE ABOUT VISITING MY DOCTOR FOR A BIOPSY (IT’S FINE) YESTERDAY. (SOMEDAY. WHEN IT’S FUNNY.) I GOT THREE DIFFERENT MESSAGES ON HOW TO APPROACH/ENTER THE OFFICE. NONE WORKED. THE OFFICE PERSONNEL DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THE MESSAGES HAD BEEN SENT. OUR MEDICAL PROVIDERS ARE OVERWHELMED. NOT BY COVID. BY INCREASED GOVERNMENTAL INTRUSION INT HEIR WORK:   Today COVID-19 made my doctor and I criminals.

STOP IT. WE’VE SUFFERED ENOUGH:   Former Sanders, Warren Advisers Helped Author A $2 Trillion Green Energy Stimulus Deal.

THIS SHOULD* BE THE END OF ANY LEGISLATION BASED ON COMPUTER MODELS:  Inaccurate Virus Models Are Panicking Officials Into Ill-Advised Lockdowns.

Note that I said “should” not “will.”  Our politicians are too stupid to realize when a model assumes “a spherical cow of uniform mass.”  Against stupidity the gods themselves strive in vain.

DEADLY CLOWN SHOW: De Blasio haunted by weeks-old tweet urging people to ‘get out on the town despite coronavirus.’

CHANGE: Nation’s Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: ‘Let’s Move In Together.’

AT AMAZON, spring deals in Garden & Outdoor.

DON’T PANIC: Dr. Birx: Coronavirus Data Doesn’t Match The Doomsday Media Predictions. “Models are models.”

Plus: “So these are the things we are looking at, because the predictions of the model don’t match the reality on the ground in China, South Korea or Italy. We are five times the size of Italy. If we were Italy and did all those divisions, Italy should have close to 400,000 deaths. They are not close to achieving that. Models are models. We are — there is enough data of the real experience with the coronavirus on the ground to really make these predictions much more sound. So when people start talking about 20% of a population getting infected, it’s very scary, but we don’t have data that matches that based on our experience.”

THE PROBLEM WITH A CUOMO CANDIDACY:

This is a terrible problem for Democrats, but I would give priority to the important work Cuomo needs to keep doing for New York right now. He should not be pulled off the job to do the work of running for President (or Vice President!). Right now, he looks especially good because he is coordinating with the Trump administration. It would be disastrous to confuse that work by making him Trump’s official opponent. Getting through this crisis is more important than the presidential election, and even if it weren’t, the Democrats are not going to win by putting their party interests above taking care of the immediate problem now. Cuomo is the Governor of New York. He’s doing a what seems to be a good job of it, right when that is what is desperately needed. That’s more than enough for Cuomo. The fact that Biden is a terrible presidential candidate for this time is just too damned bad.

There’s always Hillary. Or Michelle.

YOU KNOW, I WONDER IF JURORS ARE GOING TO QUIT BELIEVING FBI TESTIMONY AND EVIDENCE: Lori Loughlin, college admissions scandal parents urge judge to drop charges.

Defense attorneys for the famous couple and other parents still fighting the charges say the case cannot stand because investigators bullied their informant into lying and then concealed evidence that would bolster the parents’ claims of innocence.

“The extraordinary government misconduct presented in this case threatens grave harm to defendants and the integrity of this proceeding. That misconduct cannot be ignored,” the lawyers wrote. . . .

The defense says prosecutors withheld evidence that would support the parents’ argument that they believed the payments were legitimate donations that would benefit the schools, rather than bribes for coaches or officials. The evidence — notes from the phone of the scheme’s admitted mastermind, admissions consultant Rick Singer — was not given to the defense until last month.

Singer wrote in the notes that FBI agents yelled at him and told him to lie to get parents to say things in recorded phone calls that could be used against them. Singer wrote that FBI agents told him to say that he told parents the payments were bribes.

“They continue to ask me to tell a fib and not restate what I told my clients as to where their money was going — to the program not the coach and that it was a donation and they want it to be a payment,” Singer wrote, according to the filing.

The defense says the notes show that agents bullied Singer into fabricating evidence and trying to trick parents into falsely agreeing that the payments were bribes.

“For government agents to coerce an informant into lying on recorded calls to generate false inculpatory evidence against investigative targets — and to then knowingly prosecute those targets using that false evidence — is governmental malfeasance of the worst kind,” the lawyers wrote.

The punishment for this sort of government misbehavior should be naked public flogging. Carried on live TV. In fact, of course, we’ll be lucky if anyone is punished, no matter how much proof comes out, because that’s how it’s been working out.

WELCOME TO THE TWILIGHT ZONE. POPULATION: JOE BIDEN
OK, look. He’s a hack. A likable, run-of-the mill, baby-kissing, glad-handing hack. That’s not news. But for heaven’s sake, how long can these idiots pretend the cheese hasn’t slipped off the cracker? “Professor” Biden?
Now he’s claiming to be a college professor. The Washington Examiner reports that:

“When I left the United States Senate, I became a professor at the University of Pennsylvania,” Biden claimed. “And I’ve spent a lot of time — and the University of Delaware has the Biden School as well, so I’ve spent a lot of time on campus with college students.”

Um, yeah, well, about that:

Biden was present on the University of Pennsylvania campus four times to make speeches in 2017 and again in 2018. He was paid $776,527, which amounted to nearly double the average salary of the professors on campus at the time, according to PhillyMag.

My professorship at NYU (adjunct, not tenured) pays in the neighborhood of $7,000 per class, and that’s for being in class with students, plus creating material, exams, and administrative bullshit.

PEYTON MANNING CRASHES a UTK online class.

OPEN THREAD: Carry on.

SO MEXICO’S GOING TO BUILD A WALL AND PAY FOR IT? Coronavirus: Mexicans demand crackdown on Americans crossing the border.

SICK PEOPLE AREN’T GREAT ECONOMIC CONTRIBUTORS: Study of 1918 flu: Cities that imposed social distancing performed no worse economically than those that didn’t — and did better afterward.

ANALYSIS: TRUE. Kevin McCarthy: ‘History Will Not Be Kind’ to Pelosi’s Coronavirus Shenanigans While Millions Lost Jobs.

HUGE IF TRUE: Paper: Case fatality rate for Covid-19 in Wuhan was actually 1.4%, not 4.5%. I’m not qualified to evaluate this, but some of you are.

SHOCKER: Cuomo’s Prison Workers Say They’re Not Actually Making Hand Sanitizer.

HOW A CHINESE COMPANY shipped massive quantities of medical gear out of Australia at the beginning of the outbreak.

SPACE FORCE! Space Force Completed Its First Official Launch Today.

MESSING WITH TEXAS: Planned Parenthood Sues Texas in Order to Keep Killing Babies During Coronavirus Pandemic.

OUR BRAVE JOURNALISTS: In an uncertain time, the media falls back on the thing it knows best: dividing people.

Two years ago, CNN infamously tracked down a person responsible for creating a wrestling GIF lampooning their corporate logo, which just happened to be retweeted by President Trump. Reporter Andrew Kaczynski and CNN threatened  to reveal the monster’s identity unless he apologized.

CNN reporter Drew Griffen tracked down a senior citizen in Florida and parked a camera crew on her front lawn, accosting her over her Facebook group which he claimed was a Russian front group that bought ads on Facebook that swayed the 2016 election.

This browbeating of everyday people on social media by activist journalists has become all too familiar. The problem with publishing stories like Marc Fisher’s in the Washington Post is that there are more people with a voice to pushback on this kind of random targeting.

Within minutes of Fisher declaring on Twitter that he had contacted McMillen’s parents, he faced a tidal wave of backlash from people with plenty more than 495 followers.

A very well-deserved Twitter ratio; read the whole thing.

UPDATE (Charlie):

Nothing says serious journalist like “DUUDE I’m calling your MOM!”

NEWS YOU CAN USE: How to Spot a ChiCom Twitter Troll.

BODYWEIGHT EXERCISES: Get jacked without leaving your house.