THE MONKFISH ISN’T A SEA MONSTER, IT JUST LOOKS LIKE ONE:  Sea monsters: They’re what’s for dinner.

GIFT BASKETS WORTH $200,000? BUT ONLY FOR ACTORS AND DIRECTORS! END ACTOR/DIRECTOR PRIVILEGE!  Oscar nominees get tons of free stuff — even if they lose.

GET WOKE, GO BROKE:  By ditching the NRA, companies are dividing Americans.

LOCAL CONDITIONS SUBJECT TO VARIANCE (AS WHITE SOUTH AFRICAN FARMERS MIGHT ATTEST):  9 charts that prove there’s never been a better time to be alive.

RIP: M*A*S*H actor David Ogden Stiers dies at 75.

PEOPLE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR MY POST ON SUPPLEMENTS I TAKE, so here’s the link. It has, by the way, been exactly a year since I doubled-down on my diet and exercise, and I’ve gone from 240 to 214 in that time, despite adding a fair amount of muscle in the process. To be fair, about half of that is weight I added while my dad was in the hospital; it’s hard to eat well when you’re stuck in a hospital or hospice for long periods. I didn’t really change my approach, as spelled out here, just stuck to the diet more closely and worked out harder and a bit more often.

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REMINDER: FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONNECTED, GUN CONTROL IS JUST A SUGGESTION: “A Chicago-area woman arrested last year for her role in illegally selling guns to prohibited buyers, some with gang affiliations, was sentenced to probation and community service last week.”

Related: Chicago Politicians Are In Bed With The Gangs.

WITH EVERYTHING I’M READING IN THE NEWS, it’s weird that Trump’s not falling in the polls.

OPEN THREAD: Fill the room with your intelligence, as Professor Kingsfield used to say.

MAN BITES DOG: Nation of Islam leader Farrakhan delivers anti-Semitic speech. The real news story is that CNN is pointing it out.

THIS SEEMS SADLY CORRECT: Turkey Is Turning Into the Next Pakistan.

VIRGINIA POSTREL: Laser-Worn Levi’s Are the Start of Something Big: Another step in the computer-driven transformation of apparel manufacturing.

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Plus, Deals on Most Wished-For Items.

A MEASURE OF ACCOUNTABILITY: College student charged with falsely reporting sexual assault.

A Clemson University student who claims she was sexually assaulted at an off-campus fraternity party was arrested for lying about the attack, authorities in South Carolina said.

Sarah Katherine Campbell, 18, of Herndon, Virginia, was booked Wednesday on one charge of filing a false police report in connection with the alleged assault at the Delta Chi frat house in Seneca on Jan. 27, according to the Oconee County Sheriff’s Office.

Her arrest came after investigators found evidence suggesting that the sexual encounter between Campbell and a man at the fraternity house was consensual and that Campbell “had not been truthful in the information” she gave to police, according to Jimmy Watt, public information officer for the sheriff’s office.

She says she wasn’t lying. But it’s nice to see people charged with false accusations, and their names used in the press.

But note that this doesn’t stop the collective punishment of the innocent:

All fraternity activities were suspended by Clemson’s Interfraternity Council one day after the alleged assault. The governing body for the university’s 20 fraternities said at the time that the step was being taken to ensure that members were held to a “higher standard,” according to a statement posted on its website.

“Therefore, we are suspending all social events at fraternity houses effective immediately,” the statement continued. “This suspension will be effective until necessary measures are taken.”

In a letter to its members late Thursday, IFC officials referenced the Jan. 27 incident that led to the suspension and announced new procedures at Greek events, including the requirement of university IDs for entrance at all social functions, mandatory guest lists and wristbands, as well as a minimum of three security guards at all events.

“We believe that the procedures established will provide a safer environment for guests and members to socialize,” IFC president Landon Flowers wrote in a statement obtained by The Post. “We recognize that these procedures call for a culture change, and we look forward to your support in making that change.”

Sad.

FEMALE JEALOUSY IS AN UGLY THING: Some women are upset that Kylie Jenner has a flat stomach just 1 month after giving birth. I think she should be praised as an excellent role model.

SNOWFALLS ARE NOW JUST A THING OF THE PAST: Seven Feet Of Snow In Northern California Puts Screeching Halt To State’s Drought.

(Classical reference in headline.)

WADDLE YOU SEE AT PENGUIN ROCK? A Hidden Metropolis of 1.5 Million Penguins Has Been Discovered Thriving Out of Humanity’s Reach.

WARNING: FIVE UNHINGED SLAMS AGAINST DEATH WISH REMAKE.

REVIEW: 2018 Mercedes-AMG E63 S Wagon. A wagon that does zero to sixty in 3 and an 11.2 quarter mile.

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OH, PISS OFF: John Krasinski Says Men Should Not Pat Themselves On The Back For Not Sexually Harassing Women. What about not punching virtue-signaling twerps?

HMM: Calcium supplements linked to increased risk for colon polyps: Study.

GOES-R: After Thursday’s launch, we can now eye storms in HD from New Zealand to Africa.