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MY USA TODAY COLUMN: We need more lawyers, seriously. At least, more lawyers like the ones at the Institute for Justice.

WHAT’S OLD AND CROOKED IS STILL CROOKED: Is it a surprise to learn that the House Oversight Committee is having trouble getting FBI Director Jim Comey to provide information redacted from the FBI’s various inquiries into Hillary’s email server? My latest New York Observer column is now five days old but it sure seems relevant. (bumped)

OF COURSE HE WILL: Obama to veto bill allowing 9/11 victims to sue Saudi Arabia.

MAKING HER AN OFFER SHE CAN’T ACCEPT: Trump says Clinton must retract her ‘deplorables’ comment ‘in full’ to credibly campaign.

Hillary Clinton’s old mentor would be proud of that Washington Post headline.

Related: Clinton Campaign Doubles Down: Says Trump Supporters Are “Deplorable.”

Hillary’s enablers chose…poorly.

KAROL MARKOWICZ: Hillary apologists’ response to collapse is demeaning to women.

Former Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm joined in, tweeting that “’powering through’ illness is what women do: Stoically, every. single. Day.” as if Hillary was battling the sniffles.

Or her Hillary fan club is going with the canard that all women get overheated, so fainting in public like this and losing a shoe as you’re dragged into a van is standard. Liberal blogger Melissa McEwen wrote that male members of the media “would do well to listen” about the “heat sensitivity” that women face.

We’re all victims, apparently, and need men to understand us and Hillary Clinton to lead the way.

When Democratic political operative David Axelrod tweeted “Antibiotics can take care of pneumonia. What’s the cure for an unhealthy penchant for privacy that repeatedly creates unnecessary problems?,” MTVNews correspondent Jamil Smith shot back, “Ending sexism would help.” Hillary is secretive to the point of self-harm because of men, obviously.

Was it stoicism or an unstoppable hunger for power that drove Hillary to get ill enough to collapse at an event and have to be carried away? It’s not just women we’d criticize for taking risks with their own health, and the health of those around them. But Hillary always has her fallback excuse: Stop being mean to me, I’m a woman.

Women are too weak to handle fall weather, apparently, but still strong enough to be President.

CHANGE: Here’s what happens if Hillary has to drop out of the race.

UPDATE: Former DNC chairman calls for Clinton contingency plan.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Seth Barrett Tillman looks at The Law Of The Clinton Candidacy. Just using the word “law” next to “Clinton” is kind of amusing. . . .

WHAT TURNED A RUSSIAN ARCTIC RIVER RED: Russia’s Norilsk Nickel mining and refining organization has admitted spillage from one of its operations turned the Daldykan River blood red. Heavy rains on September 5 broke a “filtration dam.” (The photos are dramatic.)

ASIA PIVOT: Duterte wants US forces out of southern Philippines.

Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte said Monday he wanted U.S. Special Forces out of his country’s south and blamed America for inflaming Muslim insurgencies in the region, in his first public statement opposing the presence of U.S. troops.
…
Duterte’s relationship with the U.S. has been a bit rocky since he became president in June. Duterte has been openly critical of American security policies aimed to chart a foreign policy that would not depend on America, his country’s treaty ally.

The U.S. military deployed troops to train, advise and provide intelligence and weapons to Filipino troops battling Al Qaeda-linked militant group Abu Sayyaf militants in the southern Philippines in 2002, but when most of them pulled out last year, the U.S. kept a few military advisers.

With China’s growing power, sometimes aggressively so, there’s an almost inevitable tendency for the smaller countries around China to gravitate toward the U.S. — a friendly outside power with no territorial ambitions. That’s in stark contrast to China, which has made claims or grabbed land (or even made land) in or near a semicircle of nations from India all the way up to Japan. It would take a really determined effort by an American President to screw up those natural alliances from developing or strengthening.

Well…

THE HILL: CNN’s Brian Stelter fails with partisan reporting on Clinton’s health.

Well, that depends on how you define “fail.” Think of him as a PR man, and Stelter is doing his best to keep alive a damaged brand into which Time-Warner-CNN-HBO has poured in quite a substantial investment – at least until the November equivalent of sweeps week.

IF THAT WERE ALLOWED, IT WOULD THREATEN THE WHOLE FEEDLOT: School found in violation of Title IX for using ‘common sense’ to investigate.

Yet another university has been found in violation of Title IX, and this one’s a doozy.

Frostburg State University in Maryland was found in violation of Title IX after two students filed complaints with the Education Department’s Office for Civil Rights. The school found several things wrong with Frostburg’s investigation process, but one of the most notable findings was that using “common sense” and “reason” are considered violations of Title IX, the anti sex-discrimination statute that is used to force schools to adjudicate felony sexual assault.

In its findings letter to Frostburg, OCR quoted the school’s “Sexual Harassment Policy” as “inappropriately” stating: “…in assessing whether a particular act constitutes sexual harassment forbidden under this policy, the rules of common sense and reason shall prevail. The standard shall be the perspective of a reasonable person within the campus community.”

This standard, OCR wrote, “falls short of the preponderance of the evidence standard required to satisfy Title IX.”

Excuse me, what? “Common sense” and a “reasonable person” violate Title IX? Well, that sounds about right given the pressure put on schools to find accused students responsible, regardless of the evidence.

Yep.

WASHINGTON POST: Clinton’s impulse to ‘power through’ with pneumonia set off cascade of problems.

Over at CNN this morning, Clinton campaign chief Robby Mook was blaming her staff. Somebody forgot to check the Journolist for today’s pravda.

HEH: Bernie Sanders: Ready. Rested. Doesn’t Have Pneumonia.

TRY TELLING HER IT’S VODKA: Clinton’s reluctance to drink water causing tension with her staff: report.

THE HILL: September Disaster For Clinton Campaign.

Hillary Clinton’s health problems — and, in particular, the shocking video of her being helped into a van on Sunday — are the worst developments yet for a campaign that has hit a serious rough patch.

Before the health drama, polls were already tightening, and the Democratic presidential nominee had delivered a semi-apology for asserting that half of Donald Trump’s supporters came from a “basket of deplorables.”

Democrats aren’t in full-on panic mode just yet, but they are worried that a race that had looked comfortable only a few weeks ago is now seriously competitive. And they expect to be on edge for much of the next week, until the first polls appear indicating how Clinton’s battle with pneumonia is affecting the contest.

Related: Bill Clinton’s CIA Chief, James Woolsey, joins Trump campaign:

Woolsey, who served as director of the CIA from 1993 to 1995 and describes himself as a life-long Democrat, praised Trump’s commitment to ending defense budget cuts from sequestration.

He said he can’t support Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton because of the controversy surrounding her use of a private email server as secretary of State.

“She demonstrated a complete lack of understanding and an inability to lead the agency she headed in such a way as to maintain its mission and security,” Woolsey said in a statement.

“Based on the emails thus far released we know that Secretary Clinton also lacks the ability to lead her senior managers while complying with and maintaining the basic protocols designed to protect our government’s sensitive and classified information. Mr. Trump understands the magnitude of the threats we face and is holding his cards close to the vest.”

Hmm.

NEVER CHANGE, New York Post.

TIM KAINE’S RADICAL ROOTS:

Tim Kaine’s political formation wasn’t pro-American or pro-Catholic, it was pro-Soviet.

Journalistic and academic research has now shown that Liberation Theology itself was quite possibly a product of a Kremlin disinformation campaign designed to undermine the Church and bring Catholic countries into the Soviet sphere. The top-ranking Soviet Bloc defector of the Cold War, Gen. Ion Pacepa admits that he was personally involved in the operation.

And contrary to the myth, this was never Pope Francis’ theology of choice.

According to Argentine Jesuits, he was never favorable to Marxist-tinged theology. Open to debate, yes. A proponent, no.

In 2005, he directly discussed “Liberation Theology,” “Christian socialism” and other “revolutionary” ways of thinking, saying: “After the collapse of ‘real socialism,’ these currents of thought were plunged into confusion. Incapable of either radical reformulation or new creativity, they survived by inertia, even if there are still some today who, anachronistically, would like to propose [them] again.”

Liberation Theology’s recent second wind has been achieved by disavowing its Marxist roots. Francis’ doctrinal chief Cardinal Mueller is seen as friendly, but stated: “true liberation theology is opposed to Marxism.”

That wasn’t the case in the 1980s. Then, Kaine embraced not some reconstituted, post-Marxist version, but the hardcore, Cold War variety — an avowed Marxist ideology inimical to the institutional Catholic Church and to the United States.

Which definitely makes him “Ready for Hillary.”

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE UPDATE: U.S. bombers fly over South Korea in show of force after nuclear test.

Two U.S. B-1 bombers flew over South Korea on Tuesday in a show of force and solidarity with its ally after North Korea’s nuclear test last week, while a U.S. envoy called for a swift and strong response to Pyongyang from the United Nations.

Speaking in the South Korean capital on Tuesday, Sung Kim, the U.S. envoy on North Korea, added that the United States remained open to meaningful dialogue with Pyongyang on ending its pursuit of nuclear weapons.

“Our intention is to secure the strongest possible (U.N. Security Council) resolution that includes new sanctions as quickly as possible,” Kim told a news briefing after meeting his South Korean counterpart.

Russia and China are reportedly “ambivalent” about new sanctions. Besides which, both countries might find it convenient to allow North Korea to test the incoming U.S. president early in their first term.

CULTURE OF CORRUPTION: Emails Suggest Russian Reset-Clinton Foundation/ State Dept. Conflict of Interest.

Who could have imagined such a thing?

SHOT: Time-Warner CNN-HBO Spokesman Bill Maher Jokes About Hinckley Shooting Trump Since Polls Are Tight.

Chaser:

Back in 1997 I made a prediction in my book The Dilbert Future that seems to be coming true. It stated:

In the future, the media will kill famous people to generate news that people will care about. – The Dilbert Future (May 1997)

Three months later, the media chased Princess Di into a tunnel and created a dangerous situation that killed her but was terrific for television news ratings. The media didn’t plot to kill anyone, but they created a situation that made it likely someone important would die because of the way their business model works. That was the basis for my prediction.

Fast-forward to today and we see the media priming the public to try to kill Trump, or at least create some photogenic mayhem at a public event. Again, no one is sitting in a room plotting Trump’s death, but – let’s be honest – at least half of the media believes Trump is the next Hitler, and a Hitler assassination would be morally justified. Also great for ratings. The media would not be charged with any crime for triggering some nut to act. There would be no smoking gun. No guilt. No repercussions. Just better ratings and bonuses all around.

—Scott Adams, March 13th, 2016.

Related: HBO’s parent company is one of Hillary Clinton’s biggest donors.

CIRCLING THE WAGONS: Pence declines to call David Duke ‘deplorable.’

“I’m not really sure why the media keeps dropping David Duke’s name,” Pence said. “Donald Trump has denounced David Duke repeatedly, we don’t want his support and we don’t want the support of people who think like him.”

“You would call him a ‘deplorable’?” Blitzer asked.

“No, I’m not in the name-calling business, Wolf. You know me better than that,” Pence said. “What Hillary Clinton did Friday night is shocking.”

The Trump campaign spent all of Sunday and Monday deliberately not saying anything which would allow the press to change the subject from Hillary Clinton’s health issues.

On the other hand, who needs an invitation to call David Duke deplorable?

HEY, REMEMBER HIM? Barack Obama, the incredible shrinking president:

While presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump loom horrifyingly larger, can we spare a little horror as U.S. President Barack Obama looms ever smaller? No, I’m not sorry he’s leaving. I’m alarmed at a series of recent foreign policy humiliations showing just how badly the incredible shrinking president has damaged America’s standing in this turbulent world of ours.

First, emerging from the back door of Air Force One at the G20 in China after local functionaries literally denied him a red carpet. Second, begging Russian President Vladimir Putin for help on Syria and getting chlorine gas. Third, being told off by the president of Turkey over American support for Kurds in Syria. Fourth, being cussed out by the president of the Philippines.

It is literally impossible to imagine any of these things happening to former presidents Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush or Richard Nixon. Jimmy Carter? Maybe one or two. But Obama managed all four. While he did cancel his meeting with the appalling Filipino president, he seemed to treat the rest as no big deal.

As Glenn noted, “When Jimmy Carter Is your best-case scenario, you’re in trouble.” That was written back in 2011, but alas, voters didn’t heed the warning. Which is why our semi-retired president’s last months in office aren’t exactly occurring “unexpectedly,” even to his most die-hard loyalists.

SECRECY, LIES, WHATEVER: Clinton allies criticize campaign over health secrecy.

A lack of transparency about her health has turned what might have been a non-issue into a hugely problematic storyline for Hillary Clinton that could plague the Democratic presidential nominee into November, say allies and confidants.

One ally described the string of events that culminated in Clinton leaving a Sept. 11 memorial early as a “self-inflicted f—ing nightmare.”

Clinton’s campaign sought to deal with the fallout on Monday of damaging video that showed Clinton’s knees buckling and Secret Service agents helping her into a van. The campaign later revealed that the Democratic nominee was suffering from pneumonia.

David Axelrod, who served as a senior adviser to President Obama, chided Clinton and the campaign for unnecessarily withholding information from the public.

“Antibiotics can take care of pneumonia,” Axelrod wrote on Twitter. “What’s the cure for an unhealthy penchant for privacy that repeatedly creates unnecessary problems?”

Behind the scenes, the criticism was even more withering. And it comes at a time when the campaign’s trajectory appears to have stalled, with polls showing Republican Donald Trump gaining on Clinton.

The thing is, with the Clintons, no lie is to bizarre to be possible — even the Hillary Double rumors. I mean, you know they’d do it if they needed to, and thought it would work, right? Sometimes they use that to gaslight their opponents into believing crazy things that aren’t true. Other times — like this one, where Drudge is taking a deserved victory law — the opponents believe “crazy” things that turn out to be true.

OLD NEWS, NOTHING TO SEE HERE, SHE’S ALREADY DISCLOSED EVERYTHING: Emails show Clinton ties to Russian oligarch under investigation.

The Clintons’ relationship with Viktor Vekselberg, the billionaire whose name appears in the documents, has taken on new significance amid an expanding criminal investigation into his company. Last week, authorities raided the offices of Vekselberg’s firm, Renova Group, following allegations of bribery from several of Renova’s subsidiaries.

Vekselberg had been named head of a partnership dubbed the “Russian Silicon Valley” just three months before a Clinton Foundation employee began pushing the State Department to approve Bill Clinton’s proposed meeting with Vekselberg and a handful of other Russian executives.

The emails, obtained by conservative-leaning Citizens United and provided first to the Washington Examiner, do not reveal any illegal activity on the part of the State Department, the Clintons or their foundation.

Well, that sort of thing would be handled strictly face-to-face.

BLAME THE LITTLE GUY: Clinton campaign manager: Staff to blame for slow health disclosure.

There is “absolutely not” any illness in Hillary Clinton’s medical records that hasn’t been disclosed, her campaign manager said Monday.

Robby Mook told CNN’s Jake Tapper it was the fault of Clinton’s staff that the press wasn’t told for 90 minutes where the former secretary of state had gone when she left a 9/11 commemoration ceremony early after “overheating” and having to be helped into a van after faltering Sunday.

“I wish we’d done that in a shorter amount of time. That’s on us — that’s on the staff,” Mook told Tapper on “The Lead.” “We were trying to make sure she could see her doctor, getting her to Chelsea’s apartment, making sure she was OK.”

Even taking Mook’s statement at face value, Clinton was reportedly out of commission and unable to make a decision for over an hour. That’s not what most Americans are looking for in a Commander-in-Chief.