AND NOW, THE SUICIDE TANK: A Battle Tank with Identity Issues.

CATHOLIC PARISHIONERS: Investigate Bernie Sanders’ Wife For Loan Fraud. “When Jane O’Meara Sanders served as president of Burlington College between 2004 and 2011, she oversaw an aggressive effort to enroll more students and expand the campus to accommodate a bigger student body. Part of that plan: Taking out hefty loans to finance the $10 million purchase of 32 acres of prime property from the Roman Catholic diocese at the end of 2010. But Burlington College soon found itself unable to make its loan payments.”

So it’s basically Bernie’s plan for America, writ small.

FUNDAMENTALLY TRANSFORMED: The Obama Crime Wave Comes to Minnesota.

AT AMAZON, it’s the Spring Patio, Lawn & Garden Event.

Plus, save on high-speed HDMI Cables.

MY USA TODAY COLUMN: Could Facebook Swing An Election? Mark Zuckerberg’s open criticism of Donald Trump’s policies calls Facebook’s neutrality into question.

BUT OF COURSE: Obama phones Putin but doesn’t bring up jets buzzing US ship.

Entirely unrelated: President Obama Summits With Hip-Hop Stars. “It is, reportedly, Obama’s ‘transitional project’ bridging the gap between his time in the Oval Office and his future in the real world; Obama wants to use the celebrity relationships he’s formed in his years as President to keep himself relevant in the near future.”

UPDATE: Rapper Rick Ross’s Ankle Monitor Goes Off During Minorty Youth Empowerment Program at White House. “Ross’s ankle monitor, which he must wear as a condition of his release on kidnapping and assault charges last summer, beeped loudly shortly after the president concluded a speech.”

KURT SCHLICHTER: Bernie Sanders’ Army of Deadbeats Can Bring Conservatives Together Again.

RIP DORIS ROBERTS, STAR OF EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, DEAD AT 90.

VACCINES ARE TOO HARD TO CREATE IN GENERAL NOWADAYS: This is why it’s going to be so hard to create a Zika vaccine.

HAPPY TAX DAY! A One-Percenter Destroys All the Tax Day Claims About Rich People. (Video.)

WELL, I HAD EXPECTED TESLA COILS TO PLAY A BIGGER ROLE IN THE 21ST CENTURY: Tesla Coil Remotely Induces Nanotubes to Self Assemble.

AT AMAZON, introducing the Kindle Oasis.

Plus, savings galore at the Mother’s Day Gift Guide.

I RATHER DOUBT THIS WILL HAPPEN: 4 Reasons General James Mattis Should Be President.

VIDEO: Mr. and Mrs. Johnny Depp Confess Their Crimes.

Related: Tim Blair has exclusive behind the scenes footage of the Depps’ confessions being painfully extracted at gunpoint.

THAT’S ESPECIALLY TRUE IF YOU PUT IT ON PASTA, WHICH IS LOADED WITH CARBS: Mars Tells Customers Their Pasta Sauce Should Be an “Occasional Treat.”

“GETTING IN SHAPE FOR THE DEBAUCHERY TO COME…These moms spend thousands on cosmetic surgery to get Coachella-ready.”

NATURALLY, THEIR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO HAVE THEM SHUT DOWN: Sanders Lawyers Do Not Like These “Bernie Is My Comrade” T-Shirts One Bit. “The products show Sanders next Karl Marx, Joseph Stalin, and others with the tagline, ‘Bernie is my comrade.'”

Update: Link fixed!

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE: Why Not Adjunct Administrators Instead of Adjunct Instructors? It Makes Far More Sense. “Most of the growth of university costs comes from administrative bloat. Non-faculty staff has grown at more than twice the rate of instructors – you know, the people who are the ostensible reason a university exists. As tenured professors retire, administrators kill those tenure lines and replace them permanently with part timers. Administrators do this so they can gorge on a higher salary while demanding more.”

MY USA TODAY COLUMN: Could Facebook Swing An Election? Mark Zuckerberg’s open criticism of Donald Trump’s policies calls Facebook’s neutrality into question.

CHANGE: Where Have All The Ear Infections Gone? “A study published in 2014 in JAMA Pediatrics looked at the number of medical visits for otitis media made by children up to the age of 6 and found a downward trend from 2004 to 2011, with a significant drop in 2010-11. The first routine childhood pneumococcal vaccine was introduced in 2000; we changed to a vaccine effective against a wider set of bacterial serotypes in 2010.”

THE INSTAWIFE EXPLAINS THINGS: More Sex Makes Married People Happy.

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE: Watch: College Kids Can’t Explain Why a Short White Man Isn’t a Tall Asian Woman.

I WISH THEY’D HAD TOYS LIKE THIS when I was a kid.

MY GEEKY NEPHEW WAS REALLY INTO IT, BUT NOW SEEMS TO BE MORE INTO NUMBER THEORY AND LEGO MINDSTORM ROBOTS: The Minecraft Generation.

NOW OUT FROM ALAN HIRSCH: The Duke of Wellington, Kidnapped!: The Incredible True Story of the Art Heist That Shocked a Nation.