INSERT BEANO REFERENCE HERE: A fuel tank inspired by the serpentine tubes of the human gut could make cars running on natural gas more attractive to motorists.”

NEWS YOU CAN USE: How To Stock Your Disaster Pantry. “When disaster strikes and your family, friends, and neighborhood need your help, the last place you want to be is stuck in a food line. A backup food supply that’s easy to manage and won’t break the bank is a cornerstone of disaster prep. The biggest question: How much food is enough?”

THEY TOLD ME IF I VOTED FOR MITT ROMNEY, WE’D HAVE A RACIST DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE. AND THEY WERE RIGHT! Inspector General Report on Racialist Dysfunction inside DOJ. “Though the report commenced as an investigation into the New Black Panther dismissal, seemingly every rock the investigators turned over resulted in more creatures fleeing the sunshine. The final report captures a range of outrageous conduct.” Much more at the link.

TOPLESS WOMEN PROTEST HEADLESS CHURCH: “Police have wrestled two topless women to the ground during a brief protest in St Peter’s Square outside the Vatican after cardinals withdrew into the Sistine Chapel to begin the process of electing a new pope.”

AT AMAZON, markdowns on bestselling men’s wallets.

I THINK THE KEY PHRASE IS “RESPONDING TO PRESSURE FROM THE TELEVISION INDUSTRY:” Nielsen changing the way it measures television consumption.

SCIENCE: Doubts about Johns Hopkins research have gone unanswered, scientist says.

It may be impossible for anyone from outside to know the extent of the problems in the Nature paper. But the incident comes amid a phenomenon that some call a “retraction epidemic.”

Last year, research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that the percentage of scientific articles retracted because of fraud had increased tenfold since 1975.

The same analysis reviewed more than 2,000 retracted biomedical papers and found that 67 percent of the retractions were attributable to misconduct, mainly fraud or suspected fraud.

Scientists are human, and subject to human flaws and temptations. The scientific method is supposed to overcome those problems, but it does so only so long as people check their work.

JUST LIKE THEY TEACH YOU TO DO IN THE RED CROSS COURSE: ‘Human Chain’ Saves Boy, 12, From Drowning. “A 12-year-old New Zealand boy, who was swept out to sea by rough waters, was rescued by beachgoers after they formed a human chain to pull the boy back to the shore. . . . The dramatic video of the rescue shows more than a dozen people holding hands from the beach into the whitecap waves to bring the two to safety.”

IS ALL-WHEEL-DRIVE OVERRATED? “At the same time AWD doesn’t improve your handling, it does offer an overly optimistic sense of available traction, and it provides the potential to be going so much faster when you need to stop.”

Plus, the underrated importance of tires: “I’d rather have a Camry on four new snow tires than the best all-wheel-drive vehicle on all-season tires.”

SCIENCE: Mystery of ‘cocktail party’ hearing solved.

LOCK PICKING HISTORY: Victorian England made the strongest locks in the world—until an American showed up and promised he could pick them.

IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN’T DO? Aspirin Linked To Lower Risk Of Deadly Skin Cancer. “The new study adds to mounting evidence that the over-the-counter staple may help prevent cancers of the colon, liver, breasts, lungs and skin. A May 2012 study found that men and women who used non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs or NSAIDs such as aspirin were 15 percent less likely to develop the non-melanoma skin cancer squamous cell carcinoma, and 13 percent less likely to develop malignant melanoma.”

GUNS AND 3D PRINTING: Defense Distributed’s Cody Wilson: Rebel. Cause. Some Assembly Required.

LIVING IN A HOLIDAZE. I can’t wait until National Pi Day. I’m irrationally enthused.

NANOTECHNOLOGY UPDATE: Nanoparticles Made From Bee Venom Can Kill HIV.

A FUKUSHIMA I-TOLD-YOU-SO FROM CHARLIE MARTIN.

RICHARD EPSTEIN: The Mirage Of Racism. Mirage? What about all those racists in Manhattan?

BILL WHITTLE: Virtual State Of The Union: Voter Fraud.

UNDERFUNDED PUBLIC PENSION UPDATE: SEC Charges Illinois Pension System For Not Disclosing Structural Underfunding.

K-12 IMPLOSION UPDATE: Charter Schools Surging in Big Blue Mass.

America’s most successful anti-blue idea is thriving in a deep blue state: Democratic lawmakers in Massachusetts want to lift caps on charter schools and charter-school funding in 29 low-performing school districts. This has charter proponents very excited. . . .

It’s not clear what the Democratic-controlled legislature will do with the bill. It’s a safe bet that teachers’ unions will oppose it.

A few numbers are worth keeping in mind. There are now 31,000 Massachusetts students enrolled in charter schools, and another 45,000 applicants remain on waiting lists. Fifty-nine percent of Massachusetts charter schools achieved the state’s highest ranking in academic achievement and graduation rates, compared with just 31 percent of non-charter schools. The fact that Democratic lawmakers are getting behind charters likely means that low-income parents in Massachusetts like what they see and are demanding more.

Yes. As I’ve noted, when parents have alternatives, they get interested in them.

I THINK RIGHT-LEANING MEDIA SHOULD LAY OFF THESE STORIES UNTIL SHE’S GOT THE DEM. NOMINATION: In 2010, Ashley Judd accused Apple customers of ‘financing mass rape.’

So I’m not an expert in Kentucky politics, but if you lose the Apple customers and the coal miners is it still an easy win for a Democrat?

SARAH HOYT: Malice, or Incompetence?

AT AMAZON, it’s the Kitchen & Dining store.

Also, today only: Stanley 201-Piece Drive Mechanic’s Tool Set, $67.99 (38% off).

SCHOOLS GONE WILD: My USA Today column for this week is up.