K-12 IMPLOSION UPDATE: Coventry Student Suspended for Keychain. “NBC10′s Tony Gugliotta reports tonight that a seventh-grade student in Coventry public schools has been suspended for three days after his friend took a two-inch keychain shaped as gun from his backpack.” This counts as a “firearm replica?” It’s a key fob.

Meanwhile, note that while the schools are reaching new heights of absurdity, they’re not excelling at their supposed job of teaching students:

According to data provided by the state Department of Education, only 68% of students in Joseph’s class are “proficient” in math. Just 26% achieved “proficient with distinction” on the New England Common Assessment Program (NECAP) tests conducted last year.

Sending your kids to public school is looking more and more like parental malpractice.