SO IF A MAN GETS DRUNK AND SLEEPS WITH A WOMAN HE WOULDN’T HAVE SLEPT WITH SOBER, it’s humorous grist for jokes about “beer goggles” and “coyote ugly.” But if a woman does the same thing, woe unto anyone who suggests it wasn’t “date rape.” It’s nice to see people pointing out the contradiction in the comments.
UPDATE: A reader points out that that’s not the only double standard:
A former high school teacher has admitted to raping one of her students , but she won’t be serving time behind bars nor will she be forced to register as a sex offender.
On Thursday Brenda Ray pled guilty to three counts of rape.
Ray was arrested last summer for supplying a 16-year-old boy booze, cocaine and pot in addition to having sex with him off-campus on at least three occasions.
Officials say the victim was in Ray’s English class back in 2007 at Rio Rancho High School.
Ray taught at Cleveland High in addition to RRHS before she quit last summer before her arrest.
Ray pled guilty to the charges against her on Thursday and as part of her plea deal she was sentenced to three years probation.
While prosecutors asked she have to register as a sex offender Judge George Eichwald gave her a pass.
No double standard there. I’m sure a male teacher would have gotten exactly the same punishment for the same behavior.
ANOTHER UPDATE: Reader Melissa R. writes:
I read the Frisky column you linked last night regarding date rape and it made me sick to my stomach. I’m a woman, and the selfish mindset of so many of my fellow women is despicable. There is no thought given to the plight of the man in question, nor to the ACTUAL victims of rape whose victimization is cheapened thanks to this insufferable cult of victimhood.
As evidence of the double standard that exists between men and women and what constitutes “rape,” I wanted to draw your attention to the 2002 “romantic comedy” 40 Days and 40 Nights. It starred Josh Hartnett as a young man who decides to give up all types of sexual gratification for Lent. The entire movie is about Hartnett’s character trying to maintain his celibacy while his friends try to trick him into having sex (they even set up a betting pool). The situation culminates in what I consider one of the most disgusting scenes in the history of film, when the ex-girlfriend of Hartnett’s character cuffs him to a bed and has sex with him on the fortieth night, thus forcing him to break his vow and lose the bet (and cheat on his new girlfriend taboot).
I stress again, this is supposed to be a “romantic comedy,” so the scene is supposed to be funny. “Ha ha, the guy who’s been obsessed with sex for the past forty days is going to get it, even though he doesn’t want it with this girl! ha ha!” If the gender roles had been reversed and it had been Vinessa Shaw’s character who was tied up and made to “lose her bet,” courtesy of her ex-boyfriend, it would be fodder for the Lifetime Network. But since it’s Josh Hartnett on the receiving end, it’s geared toward Comedy Central.
It’s disgusting. Anyone who actually laughed during that scene needs their head examined.
So if anyone tries to deny that such a double standard exists, I always point them toward this movie and tell them to watch that scene, then ask themselves, “If his character were to go to the police to claim date rape, would he get a fair hearing? Or would he be laughed off?”
It’s nice to see the discomfort on their faces when they realize that yeah, it would be the latter.
Gee, I’m sorry I missed that film. . . .