WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS STORY?

A morbidly obese man is dead after he was found fused to a chair that he had been stuck on for two years. . . . Emergency crews had to pry him free, as his skin was stuck to the recliner with urine, feces and maggots.

It’s this bit: “The 43-year-old man from Bellaire, Ohio, was discovered unconscious on Sunday by his girlfriend.”

Well, like the song says, even Hitler had a girlfriend.