BECAUSE THINGS DON’T SUCK ENOUGH ON THEIR OWN: Fake malaria drugs:

Until recently, fake malaria drugs have been a problem largely confined to Southeast Asia, where a sampling two years ago found 53 percent of the drugs substandard, and drug experts said Asia was facing “an epidemic of counterfeits.” . . . A study released last week suggests that the epidemic is spreading to Africa, where the malaria burden is even greater, and the regulatory agencies are even weaker. Tests on 195 packs of malaria drugs bought at private pharmacies found that 35 percent either did not contain enough active ingredient or did not dissolve quickly enough to work.

Find the perpetrators and shoot ’em up with the nastiest strain you can find. And limit them to their own medications . . . .