HOW TO UPDATE HORROR FILM:

Apparently the default style for a haunted house is still the Victorian model, with high-backed chairs, rotted filigrees, oval portraits of sour men with dead eyes and string ties, and the general sense of emotional suffocation we associate, however inaccurately, with the Victorian house. But that’s old. Very old. If the Victorian house was scary in a 40s film, it’s because it was from the Grandma era, half a century ago. The modern equivalent would be a style from the 50s no one builds any more – say, a classic one-story rambler. Haunt that, and you’re on to something. Have ectoplasm seep from the push-button GE electric range, and you’ll connect with the Boomers.

Bonus horror points if there’s a knotty-pine recreation room. But if you want real horror, shouldn’t it be something from the 1970s?