IOWA VOICE: “This is what I hate about politics. What average man just ‘isn’t aware’ he happens to have some ‘holdings’ in Sudan? Oh, really, I do? I had no idea! Where else do I have ‘holdings’? Then, of course, we see that they (the candidates) are all kagillionaires (naturally).”

UPDATE: Reader Chris Arfaa points out that these were 401k and mutual fund investments, meaning that actually lots of Americans might have similar holdings.