“AND FOR THE FALSE ACCUSER, WHEN THEY ARE FINALLY PROVEN TO BE LYING, it’s like being raped all over again. Except for the fact that they weren’t actually raped the first time. . . . And to the Duke Lacrosse players: Congratulations. It looks like you won this round, what with your daddy’s money, your high-priced lawyers, and your not having done the things you were accused of. But I’m not finished with you yet.”

UPDATE: “When it hits SNL, it’s not funny anymore.”