KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Usurper Edition.
Megan Fox is filling in for Kruiser today, who is sleeping off his birthday festivities.
March 2, 2023
March 1, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Lori Lightfoot Goes From Historic First to Historic Loser. “While Lightfoot focused on playing American Stasi with anyone who broke an arbitrary COVID rule, poorer parts of her city were under siege. She always seemed to be in denial about it, and that’s probably why even Democrats began to sour on her.”
February 28, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Seems Content to Let Trump Run Against Trump for a While. “Speaking of publicity — the longer DeSantis waits to announce his candidacy, the greater the buzz will build about whether he will or not. It’s free press on autopilot.”
February 27, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Score Another One for the Tinfoil Hat COVID ‘Disinformation’ Crowd. “Those of us over here on Fauci Skeptic Island are on a roll lately, aren’t we?”
February 24, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Mayor Pete Enters the Biden Diversity Hire Hall of Failures. “To say that Buttigieg hasn’t handled his duties as Transportation secretary well would earn one an award for understatement. Prior to getting the gig, Mayor Pete thought that ‘supply chain’ was a mobile game.”
February 23, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Florida—Come for the Sunshine, Stay for the Rejection of Trans Fascism. “What laws like this will really accomplish is pumping the brakes on a runaway social trend that will probably see a lot of buyer’s remorse in the none-too-distant future.”
February 22, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Unease Over Biden’s Proxy Quagmire in Ukraine Is Growing. “The lack of clarity on exactly what America’s priorities are there has bothered me all along as well. Yeah, we want to help. But how much and for how long? After all, this country has had some rough history when it comes to getting involved in wars when our intentions are vague.”
February 21, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dems Are Oozing Flop Sweat Over Release of J6 Surveillance Video.“Schiff and the other J6 false narrative pimps are likely sweating the fact that there is nothing in the tens of thousands of hours of footage that’s been kept from the public that will back up the Democrats’ claims of an insurrection. Because there wasn’t one. The public has been told for over two years now that the United States government was in danger of being overthrown by a handful of people led by drunk dude wearing a novelty hat with horns on it.”
February 20, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Woke Left Lunatics Have Come for Willy Wonka. “Make no mistake, whitewashing literature via posthumous content editing like this is far more insidious than banning books. The danger is in the subtlety.”
February 17, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Eco/Green Weirdos Need Some Tough Love. “The notion that grown-ups need a hug because Floaty the Polar Bear might soon show up on the streets of Manhattan is beyond embarrassing. That we’re now subsidizing this nonsense is a sure sign that karma won’t be kind to this once great Republic.”
February 16, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: How Many Americans Will Woke Soros Prosecutors Get Killed? “The end game, of course, is total, lawless chaos, which creates the perfect conditions for the growth of progressivism. Or communism. Or fascism. Chaos is fertilizer for the worst of the isms.”
February 15, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Parents Should Be Able to Sue Public Schools for Malpractice. “The familiar refrain from the teachers’ unions is that everything can be fixed with more money, as if all districts were operating on shoestring budgets. As Athena notes in her post, Baltimore public schools aren’t exactly searching the couch cushions for loose change.”
February 14, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Physician of the Future—Dumber, Woker, and More Likely to Kill You. “I’m just saying that an across-the-board lowering of entrance standards for medical school MIGHT be fraught with unpleasant consequences. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I think it should be more difficult to become a physician, not easier.”
February 13, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s WWIII Balloon Confusion Is Really Getting Weird. “At this point it feels like China is just punking us and taking advantage of the fact that our Commander in Chief has the mental capacity of rotting plywood. I don’t know how to type or say ‘LOL, send another one,’ in Mandarin, but I’m pretty sure that’s the evergreen email that’s making the rounds among ChiCom spies right now.”
February 10, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Rogue FBI Extremist Fever Dream Is Worried About Traddy Catholics at Latin Masses. “Of course, anti-Catholic bigotry is not only condoned, but also rampant on the left. It’s practically encouraged. The Roman Church is Public Enemy Number One because of its unwavering stance on abortion.”
February 9, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Forget Decorum — Republicans Need to Be in Street Fight Mode. “To a man and woman, Republicans in Congress need to be far less decorous, especially until November 2024. Put more plainly: less Mitt Romney, more Marjorie Taylor Greene.”
February 8, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Hear Me Out — Let’s Scrap the State of the Union Address. “A gifted orator the man never was. Now he’s just the weird uncle at the Thanksgiving table who everyone is waiting to do something that makes them all uncomfortable.”
February 7, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: We’re Painfully Aware of the State of Joe Biden’s Union. “Biden’s speech will be a real test of his staff’s creative writing skills. They will no doubt be trying to convince us that the United States economy is booming and that we should be grateful to President LOLEightyonemillion for all of the bounty we’re enjoying. That’s going to be a tough sell to citizens who are moving money out of their retirement accounts so that they can buy an egg.”
February 6, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: That Noise You Hear Is the ChiComs Laughing at Pudding Brain Biden. “If the Chinese balloon thing was a mini dress rehearsal for World War III, we may want to form some Mandarin study groups.”
February 3, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: New and Improved Kevin McCarthy Passes First Test as Speaker. “These weekly check-ins on the new Republican majority are becoming rather pleasant. I count myself among the many who were convinced that I’d be doubling my monthly whiskey budget to deal with Team McCarthy.”
February 2, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Keeps Staring Down His Haters and Winning. “Democrats, their flying monkeys in the mainstream media, and now hardcore Trump faithful, would prefer that DeSantis trip up and give them a reason to force him off of the stage, but he’s not the stumbling type so far.”
February 1, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dems Might Be in the Market for a Bus to Throw Kamala Harris Under. “Given the fact that the Dems live, eat, and breathe diversity, getting Harris out of the way will be no easy task. She’s a double HISTORIC FIRST, they can’t just unceremoniously push her aside. It’s not impossible, but it’s going to take a lot of effort.”
January 31, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Biden/Garland Rogue FBI Takes One on the Chin. “After Roe v Wade was tossed into the Supreme Court dustbin last summer, the always frothing-at-the-mouth abortion ghouls wanted their pound of flesh.”