KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Usurper Edition.
Megan Fox is filling in for Kruiser today, who is sleeping off his birthday festivities.
March 2, 2023
March 1, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Lori Lightfoot Goes From Historic First to Historic Loser. “While Lightfoot focused on playing American Stasi with anyone who broke an arbitrary COVID rule, poorer parts of her city were under siege. She always seemed to be in denial about it, and that’s probably why even Democrats began to sour on her.”
February 28, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Seems Content to Let Trump Run Against Trump for a While. “Speaking of publicity — the longer DeSantis waits to announce his candidacy, the greater the buzz will build about whether he will or not. It’s free press on autopilot.”
February 27, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Score Another One for the Tinfoil Hat COVID ‘Disinformation’ Crowd. “Those of us over here on Fauci Skeptic Island are on a roll lately, aren’t we?”
February 24, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Mayor Pete Enters the Biden Diversity Hire Hall of Failures. “To say that Buttigieg hasn’t handled his duties as Transportation secretary well would earn one an award for understatement. Prior to getting the gig, Mayor Pete thought that ‘supply chain’ was a mobile game.”
February 23, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Florida—Come for the Sunshine, Stay for the Rejection of Trans Fascism. “What laws like this will really accomplish is pumping the brakes on a runaway social trend that will probably see a lot of buyer’s remorse in the none-too-distant future.”
February 22, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Unease Over Biden’s Proxy Quagmire in Ukraine Is Growing. “The lack of clarity on exactly what America’s priorities are there has bothered me all along as well. Yeah, we want to help. But how much and for how long? After all, this country has had some rough history when it comes to getting involved in wars when our intentions are vague.”
February 21, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dems Are Oozing Flop Sweat Over Release of J6 Surveillance Video.“Schiff and the other J6 false narrative pimps are likely sweating the fact that there is nothing in the tens of thousands of hours of footage that’s been kept from the public that will back up the Democrats’ claims of an insurrection. Because there wasn’t one. The public has been told for over two years now that the United States government was in danger of being overthrown by a handful of people led by drunk dude wearing a novelty hat with horns on it.”
February 20, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Woke Left Lunatics Have Come for Willy Wonka. “Make no mistake, whitewashing literature via posthumous content editing like this is far more insidious than banning books. The danger is in the subtlety.”
February 17, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Eco/Green Weirdos Need Some Tough Love. “The notion that grown-ups need a hug because Floaty the Polar Bear might soon show up on the streets of Manhattan is beyond embarrassing. That we’re now subsidizing this nonsense is a sure sign that karma won’t be kind to this once great Republic.”
February 16, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: How Many Americans Will Woke Soros Prosecutors Get Killed? “The end game, of course, is total, lawless chaos, which creates the perfect conditions for the growth of progressivism. Or communism. Or fascism. Chaos is fertilizer for the worst of the isms.”
February 15, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Parents Should Be Able to Sue Public Schools for Malpractice. “The familiar refrain from the teachers’ unions is that everything can be fixed with more money, as if all districts were operating on shoestring budgets. As Athena notes in her post, Baltimore public schools aren’t exactly searching the couch cushions for loose change.”
February 14, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Physician of the Future—Dumber, Woker, and More Likely to Kill You. “I’m just saying that an across-the-board lowering of entrance standards for medical school MIGHT be fraught with unpleasant consequences. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I think it should be more difficult to become a physician, not easier.”
February 13, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s WWIII Balloon Confusion Is Really Getting Weird. “At this point it feels like China is just punking us and taking advantage of the fact that our Commander in Chief has the mental capacity of rotting plywood. I don’t know how to type or say ‘LOL, send another one,’ in Mandarin, but I’m pretty sure that’s the evergreen email that’s making the rounds among ChiCom spies right now.”
February 10, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Rogue FBI Extremist Fever Dream Is Worried About Traddy Catholics at Latin Masses. “Of course, anti-Catholic bigotry is not only condoned, but also rampant on the left. It’s practically encouraged. The Roman Church is Public Enemy Number One because of its unwavering stance on abortion.”
February 9, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Forget Decorum — Republicans Need to Be in Street Fight Mode. “To a man and woman, Republicans in Congress need to be far less decorous, especially until November 2024. Put more plainly: less Mitt Romney, more Marjorie Taylor Greene.”
February 8, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Hear Me Out — Let’s Scrap the State of the Union Address. “A gifted orator the man never was. Now he’s just the weird uncle at the Thanksgiving table who everyone is waiting to do something that makes them all uncomfortable.”
February 7, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: We’re Painfully Aware of the State of Joe Biden’s Union. “Biden’s speech will be a real test of his staff’s creative writing skills. They will no doubt be trying to convince us that the United States economy is booming and that we should be grateful to President LOLEightyonemillion for all of the bounty we’re enjoying. That’s going to be a tough sell to citizens who are moving money out of their retirement accounts so that they can buy an egg.”
February 6, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: That Noise You Hear Is the ChiComs Laughing at Pudding Brain Biden. “If the Chinese balloon thing was a mini dress rehearsal for World War III, we may want to form some Mandarin study groups.”
February 3, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: New and Improved Kevin McCarthy Passes First Test as Speaker. “These weekly check-ins on the new Republican majority are becoming rather pleasant. I count myself among the many who were convinced that I’d be doubling my monthly whiskey budget to deal with Team McCarthy.”
February 2, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Keeps Staring Down His Haters and Winning. “Democrats, their flying monkeys in the mainstream media, and now hardcore Trump faithful, would prefer that DeSantis trip up and give them a reason to force him off of the stage, but he’s not the stumbling type so far.”
February 1, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dems Might Be in the Market for a Bus to Throw Kamala Harris Under. “Given the fact that the Dems live, eat, and breathe diversity, getting Harris out of the way will be no easy task. She’s a double HISTORIC FIRST, they can’t just unceremoniously push her aside. It’s not impossible, but it’s going to take a lot of effort.”
January 31, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Biden/Garland Rogue FBI Takes One on the Chin. “After Roe v Wade was tossed into the Supreme Court dustbin last summer, the always frothing-at-the-mouth abortion ghouls wanted their pound of flesh.”
January 30, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: You Will Be Forced to Care — Gay Hockey Edition. “There is no level of capitulation that is satisfactory for those who want to be permanently aggrieved. It’s not just that we will be made to care, but that we’ll be made to care with rules that are ever-changing.”
January 27, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Choose Your Weapon Wisely — It’s Judgement Day at the RNC. “By the end of today — maybe by the time you read this — we will know if the Republican National Committee (RNC) wants to get back to the business of winning elections or if it wants to leg hump the status quo because that’s what makes the D.C. types comfortable.”
January 26, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Good News — School Choice Is Back on the Agenda for Republicans. “My personal dream would be to do away with the Department of Education altogether, but I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon. Expanding choice wherever and whenever possible is the first step in weakening the power of the public education indoctrination mills.”
January 25, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Meet the New McCarthy, Not the Same as the Old McCarthy. “It’s safe to say that McCarthy and Schiff won’t be meeting up for lunch anytime soon. It’s a comfort knowing that, because this is no time to be cozying up to the Democrats, especially any who were cheerleaders for, or who were members of the House J6 Soviet Select Committee on Daddy Issues.”
January 24, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Wow, Russian Collusion Shows Up in the Weirdest Places. “It’s not surprising that a former FBI agent who reached his greatest heights in the Bureau thanks to James Comey is a scumbag, but his area of scumbaggery raises an eyebrow or two.”
January 23, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Reminder—Democrats and Their Media Puppets Still Hate Cops. “The Democrats are angry again. Or still. They are a cranky lot, aren’t they? Give the amount of improper and/or illegal behavior they get away with consequence-free, you would think they’d be the most chipper lot in the country.”
January 20, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Liberal Media Bias Is Alive and More Embarrassing Than Ever. “They sincerely feel that the public is buying what they’re selling when it comes to Biden. It actually comes off feeling like they’re giving a slow kid a gold star on a refrigerator chart simply for accomplishing a mundane daily task.”
January 19, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Just Let the Democrat-Run Hellhole Cities Destroy Themselves. “There’s no remedy for the commie cities. They’re like addicts: they have to hit rock-bottom before they want to get better. Some of them seem to want to get there quickly.”
January 18, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Shockingly, the Trans Cult Keeps Finding Ways to Get Weirder. “Here’s the thing though: the more that the Democrats try to convince us that this is all normal and well, the more outlandish the trans crowd becomes.”
January 17, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrat First Amendment Haters Never Let Up. “We’ve seen from the Twitter files the lengths that Democrats will go do in order to quash dissent. It’s a mission for them. They hate freedom; therefore, they hate free speech. Can’t have people like me running around out here pointing out that they’re oppressive fascists, after all.”
January 16, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: GOP Needs to Nuke Ronna McDaniel’s Romney Stench. “Ronna McDaniel has been in charge of the RNC for three awful election cycles. Her only job is to help the party’s candidates win elections, and she’s failed miserably at that. What makes it all even worse is that she’s a Romney.”
January 13, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Karine Jean-Pierre’s Last Brain Cell Has Left the Building. “Hell hath no ridiculousness like a 21st century Democrat trying to expiate white guilt.”
January 12, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Defund Leftist Child Predators in Public Education. “My daughter has been out of the public education system for almost seven years now. Drag show story hours weren’t a thing when she was in school. I know that not all public school teachers are perverts. The ones who are, however, need to be perp-walked out of their classrooms and be hit with court orders that keep them away from schools forever.”
January 11, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Republican House Majority Has to Fire Up the Bully Pulpit. “Republicans — especially conservative Republicans — are desperate to see some fight in our elected officials, particularly the ones in Washington. Even if it’s just a show at the moment, it’s a show we need to see.”
January 10, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Eggs Are $8 but White House Wants You to Know Inflation Is Gone. “The real problem here is that we, the people, pay our elected officials and bureaucrats in Washington far too much money. Even the ones who don’t arrive with a lot of personal assets or wealth get comfy pretty quickly.”
January 9, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Biden 2024 Train Wreck Might Be Happening. “The real question that has to be asked is if Biden can physically handle the rigors of a real campaign. He spent most of the 2020 run in his basement with his Legos and baggie full of Cheerios, only putting on his big boy pants to make the occasional video with DOCTOR Mama Jill. He wasn’t mentally sharp enough to run then and we’ve all witnessed his precipitous decline in the last year.”
January 6, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: President Harris Really Stinks at Her Job. “When President Biden refers to ‘President Harris’ we should all ponder what might happen if she does end up with the title for real.”
January 5, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden Is Kicking Off 2023 by Pretending to Care About the Border. “It feels like Biden’s handlers are angling for a photo op to pimp amnesty under the guise of — stop me if you’ve heard this one before — ‘comprehensive immigration reform.'”
January 4, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: New Republican House Majority Is a Driverless Clown Car. “The red trickle Republican majority in the House of Representatives has finally arrived, ladies and gentlemen. Everything is going to be better now, right? We finally have some leverage to push back against the Democrats in the Senate and White House. Can’t we all just feel the freedom again?”
January 3, 2023
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Arizona’s Doomsday Clock Is Ticking Now That Crazy Katie Hobbs Is in Charge. “The leftist creep in California didn’t happen overnight, but times are different now. Democrats no longer pretend they aren’t socialists–they fly that freak flag out in the open with glee. Obviously, Hobbs can’t shove the state off of the leftist cliff on her own, but having a wild card like that at the top could accelerate the makeover.”
December 29, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Is Again the Desperately Needed Adult in the Room. “There is a lot to unpack in this story, most of it creepy. The important detail is that Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and his office became aware of the freak show and now the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation (DBPR) is looking into it, per a statement from DeSantis’s press secretary.”
December 28, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Title 42 Is a Band-Aid on a Border Wound That Will Soon Bleed Out. “They’ve been working overtime since Biden was installed in the Oval Office to create a fictional account of what’s happening. Avoiding the word ‘crisis’ is the only policy they seem to have.”
December 27, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Mitch McConnell Wants to Lose and Stay in the Minority. “Being in the minority means he can always use that as an excuse for never doing anything meaningful or good for Republican voters.”
December 22, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Twitter Files Takeaway—The U.S. Government Is Now Full Soviet. “I am fond of saying that I was never a conspiracy theory kind of guy but after 2020 I now have a walk-in closet full of tin foil hats. What used to be called ‘out there’ thinking is now merely the truth.”
December 21, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats’ Latest Border Narrative Is Clinically Insane. “Here on Planet Earth, there is no way that Republicans can be blamed for the overwhelming crisis at the Mexican border. I’m actually running out of eye rolls at this point.”
December 20, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: J6 Commies Opt for Weaponizing Trump With Political Martyrdom. “This is yet another case of the Democrats and their flying monkeys in the mainstream media creating and perpetuating a story that bears no resemblance to reality.”
December 19, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Musk Applies Twitter Rules to Libs and the Poor Dears Lose It. “I sincerely hope that this is causing emotional trauma for these truly awful human beings. The vile left media types have been begging for a karmic payback for a long time and Musk is giving them one at the moment.”
December 16, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Federal Government Reminds Arizonans Why We Hate It. “I have spent all of my life living closer to the Mexican border than most people who make United States immigration law, the majority of it here in my native Arizona. The reason I led with that is because I wanted to establish my perspective cred.”
December 15, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Won’t Let COVID Vax Charlatans Off the Hook. “At this point, people who still trust the government when it comes to public health should be institutionalized.”
December 14, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Kari Lake Is Still Punching Hard at Maricopa County Corruption. “There’s no doubt that Democrats here in Arizona would love for the myriad questions still swirling around the inexplicable mess that was Maricopa County during the midterm elections to vanish into the ether. There is a stink there that won’t go away until the source is discovered, like something that died in the walls of a house.”
December 12, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: McCarthy Toughens Up Before Speaker Fight — Will It Be Enough? “To the surprise of no one, House Republicans are trying to ruin the smaller-than-expected victory that they had in November. Republican politicians are notorious for shoving their heads into the mouths of gift horses whenever they show up.”
December 9, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Brittney Griner Should Have Been Left to Rot in Russia. “Brittney Griner is a cliché America-hating lefty who was stupid enough to pack drugs for a trip to a hostile foreign nation. If ever anyone needed a harsh lesson about why America is better, it’s this idiot. She should have had to serve out her labor camp penalty in Russia until she was ready to wake up and sing the Star Spangled Banner every day.”
December 8, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Squeaky in the Doghouse — AOC Gets Some Ethics Scrutiny. “This ain’t my first rodeo, so I’m not naive enough to think that members of Congress are called to the carpet every time they receive gifts that are related to their positions. What, pray tell, could our girl Squeaks have done that would make the committee announce this during the last month that the Democrats were chairing it? They could have made it look like a petty Republican hit job if they’d waited another month.”
December 7, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Stop Blaming Trump for Failed GOP 2022 Candidates. “Another day, another lament from me about the messiness in the Republican party. It is utterly amazing how much chaos one little failed red wave can unleash.”
December 6, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Republicans Need to Avoid a RINO Stampede in 2023. “As soon as Mitch McConnell had secured another stint as Senate Minority Leader, he went into surrender mode, indicating that he was willing to cave to the Dems on some hot-button issues. Whatever conservative inclinations or fortitude McConnell picked up during the Trump years is long gone and he’s back to being Mitch the Useless Squish.”
December 5, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: America’s Lunatic Grandma Hillary Is Off Her Meds Again. “Hillary Clinton always seems to be in a constant state of one-person ‘hold my beer’ where she’s trying to outdo herself. Her follow-up to her unhinged theory about the 2024 election is a real doozy.”
December 2, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: CNN Continues Overhaul but How Far Will It Go? “Licht is obviously serious about changing the direction at CNN. The question is, how far will he move it? CNN moved so far to the left that any new center it settles on could still be quite liberal.”
December 1, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Why Gavin Newsom Said ‘No’ to 2024…for Now. “It is not normal for the party that has a first-term incumbent in the White House to have a lot of speculation about who might run for the nomination in the next presidential election. The Democrats find themselves in this position because they elected a doddering husk who requires an extra Secret Service agent just to keep him from choking on one of his Legos.”
November 30, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Government COVID Fascists Can’t Grasp That We’ve All Moved On. “The people tasked with doing everything they could to protect the public health did almost anything but that and most of the public is now aware of that. We aren’t in a state of early COVID panic and now have a lot of experience with them getting things very, very wrong.”
November 29, 2022
MEGAN FOX, FILLING IN ON KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Thanksgiving Hangover Edition. “All I want for Christmas is Jeffrey Epstein’s clients on trial. Is that too much to ask?”
November 28, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Republicans Might Make House Takeover the Wrong Kind of Interesting. “The problems with not winning a decisive majority in the House are going to be rearing their ugly heads for quite some time. There is now a chance that they might get uglier than a Hillary Clinton Halloween mask.”
November 23, 2022
MEGAN FOX, FILLING IN ON KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: When Kruiser Is Away, the Fox Will Play. “While I have you here, did you hear about all the gay hate? According to the MSM, everyone hates the queers (their vernacular! Don’t blame me!), including the queers. Please believe me when I tell you that you will not laugh harder this week than you will at the replies to this New York Post article about a man throwing a brick through the window of a gay bar. I’m seriously dying.”
November 22, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Here’s Hoping Fake Journalism Doesn’t Start World War III. “The word that comes up a lot when I’m writing about the Democrats’ flying monkeys in the mainstream media is ‘irresponsible.’ The rush to be a social media brand rather than a reporter leads to a lot of errors.”
November 21, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Biden Crime Family’s Defenders Are Getting Nervous. “Way back in olden times when we were expecting to be awash in red waviness at this point, many of us on the right were worried that Republicans would get a little squishy when they took back the House. Early indications are that they at least want to appear to be vertebrates for a while.”
November 18, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Kari Lake Is Not Going Gently Into That Good Night. “I honestly don’t think this is a tilting-at-windmills vanity project for Lake. She has a very good legal team. We’re not dealing with the Lin Wood/Sidney Powell “Release the Kraken’ nonsense of 2020. If they think there is something to look at, then there is probably something to look at.”
November 17, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Post-Red Trickle Mitch McConnell Will Be a Problem for Conservatives. “Yeah, Cocaine Mitch had some shining moments when Trump was in office but his body of work before and after that hasn’t always been something that conservatives celebrate much. I am afraid that we’re not going to like much of what we see from Still Minority Mitch in the next couple of years.”
November 16, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Trump Throws His Hair Into the Ring for 2024. “A frequent refrain from them during the speech was that Trump was more subdued than usual and really sticking to the script. I’ve read that again in posts elsewhere. Whether that’s a good thing or not remains to be seen. Remember, the media will tear him apart no matter how he behaves. Personally, I’ve always been a fan of his extemporaneous, no-filter style. I hope for the sake of entertainment that it’s not going to be too muted.”
November 8, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Election Day Is Always a Cheat Day for Democrats. “I’m one of those crazies who still votes on Election Day, rather than opt for the Democrat cons of mail-in and early voting. Early voting is the devil and should die a hideous death. The only people who should vote by mail are deployed military personnel, people who are expatriated for work, and people who are too physically ill to get to the polls. Participation in either for convenience is just enabling the Democrat fraud machine.”
November 7, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dems Are So Desperate They Brought Biden Out for Final Push. “I usually avoid the news on the weekend but there is none of that when heading into an election week. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen such a big ‘chicken with their heads cut off’ vibe from the Democrats’ flying monkeys in the mainstream media before an election. For the record, I’ve been through a LOT of elections.”
November 4, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats’ Love of Criminals Will Be Their Downfall. “For reasons that are unclear to sane people, Democrats have decided that violent criminals should be given a hug and set free in polite society.”
November 3, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dem Candidates Don’t Want Biden Anywhere Near Close Races. “Where has President LOLEightyonemillion recently been? Bumbling around in places where the Democrats either aren’t going to win or don’t need any help at all. And, as always, embarrassing himself and the country.”
November 2, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Liz Cheney Completes Her Pathetic Transition to the Dark Side. “When last we encountered Elizabeth Cheney here in the Morning Briefing she was comparing herself to Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses Grant, and, if I’m not mistaken, Pope Saint Gregory the Great. She’s a smidge delusional these days, after all.”
November 1, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: One Week Left for Desperate Democrats to Burn It All Down. “What this all means is that the Democrats are uneasy. And when they feel even the slightest bit of panic, they tend to act out. I doubt that they have any big November surprise waiting to be sprung on an unsuspecting electorate. They put all their chips in on abortion during the summer and the bet didn’t pay off.”
October 31, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: New Twitter Is Full of Glorious Musk-Scented Liberal Tears. “I kept popping on and off of Twitter all weekend just for the straight hits of schadenfreude and it never took me long to get my fix. The aforementioned weeping and gnashing of teeth had devolved into garment-rending and diaper-soiling and — not gonna lie — it was kind of fun to watch.”
October 28, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Might Be Time to Chill Champagne for a Republican Governor Red Wave. “Should I turn out to be spectacularly wrong about all of this, I will be the first to call myself a paste-eater.”
October 27, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats’ Homestretch Flailing Is Both Pathetic and Hilarious. “Even Democrat candidates who haven’t had a bad week so far are still saddled with a village idiot of a president who thinks airplane seat legroom is racist and his spokesditz who is even more nonsensical than he is.”
October 26, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Hillary Clinton Reminds Us That She’s America’s Worst Drunk and a Psychopath. “She’s got the crazy eyes going again in the video. It never ceases to amaze me that Democrats don’t see that. Or maybe they do and they’re afraid of her. Whenever I see her I can almost hear screams coming from her basement.”
October 25, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: It Will Be Fun to Finally Be Rid of Stacey Abrams. “Abrams is a Democrat in the Wendy Davis/Beto O’Rourke mode — greatly loved by Democrats almost everywhere but in her own state.”
October 24, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Polls Look Great for Republicans but Can They Be Trusted? “People on both sides of the aisle tend to have a love/hate relationship with election polls. When they look good for our side, we can’t shut up about them. When they don’t, we scream to the heavens that polling is mierda del toro.”
October 21, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Fetterman’s Wife Is Giving off a Creepy Jill Biden Vibe. “Since that day last weekend, everything is coming up Gisele Fetterman. They may not be campaigning from a basement, but she’s definitely giving off that ‘I am my husband’s handler’ vibe that Jill Biden first began showing in the summer of 2020.”
October 20, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: ‘Election Deniers’ Are Destroying the Dems’ False Narrative Machine. “Translation: How dare the hoi polloi be more concerned about their finances than about the manufactured temper tantrum we told them is important!“
October 19, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Kari Lake May Be the Greatest Thing to Happen to Republicans This Year. “Kari Lake showed up armed with insider information that she uses to lay traps that idiot reporters keep walking into.”
October 18, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dems’ Daddy Issues J6 Charade Isn’t Winning Hearts and Minds. “The dream was that the focus on J6 would distract from the fact that a loaf of bread now costs $475 and that the Oval Office is occupied by a guy who can’t string three coherent sentences together and is often seen shaking hands with phantoms.”
October 17, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden Grabs an Ice Cream to Distract From Inflation. “If you happened to have recently experienced a certain amount of internal bleeding whilst worrying about the state of your personal finances and the economy overall, you should know that Joe Biden thinks you’re an idiot.”
October 13, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Let’s Hope Joe Biden Doesn’t Get the Planet Nuked for Christmas. “There are consequences to installing an empty husk in the Oval Office and playing president by committee. This is an awful time in history to be waiting to see who pops out of the clown car to step up and attempt to talk Vlad out of going all boom-boom.”
October 12, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Don’t Hold Your Breath Waiting for Tulsi Gabbard to Join the GOP. “Her greatest value is probably remaining independent and showing the way to regular American Democrats who don’t believe that kindergartens should be hosting drag queen story hours. They may not jump ship to the GOP, but they just might reconsider reflexively voting for Democrats who are trying to drag them off of the progressive cliff.”
October 11, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Now We Know Why Democrats Are Afraid to Debate This Year. “It’s not just that the Democratic candidates out there are saddled with a toxic, Constitution-shredding lunatic in the White House, it’s also that this year’s field is perhaps one of the greatest collections of mediocrities in recent American political history.”
October 7, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Hunter Biden Is Free but the FBI Is Rounding Up Pro-Lifers. “I’ve had a hunch that the Democrats are going to try and find some way to shuffle Joe Biden off of the stage permanently soon after the midterms. Maybe Hunter is finally fair game. A Biden family scandal could play a big part in giving Old Joe ample reason to take early retirement.”
October 6, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Can a Republican Majority Rein In the Lawless DOJ? “The party has an annoying history of talking a big game when it’s in the minority, then just behaving like grandstanding bureaucrats once it’s back in the majority.”
October 5, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Trump Has His Lawyers Firing on all Cylinders, Hope He Keeps It Up. “What the people running Biden’s brain, Congressional Democrats, and the corruptomedia don’t grasp is that their relentless attacks are merely making Trump grow stronger. Each time they give him a chance to counterattack his legend among the faithful grows.”
October 4, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Once Glorious California Is Now a Fascist Lunatic Asylum. “Gavin Newsom is a full-on fascist. I was fortunate to end my time in California before he became governor. The thought of him in the White House is petrifying. He comes from the same San Francisco political toilet that’s given us Kamala Harris and Nancy Pelosi. People from the most radical part of an already radical state keep rising to power.”
October 3, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Last Brain Cell May Be the Death of the Republic. “Because we know that he’s not going to mentally make it to 2024 and that there are no real upgrades among the Democrats were he to make an early exit.”
September 30, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Mitt Romney’s Tedious Treachery Shtick Has Worn Thin. “Mittens masquerades as a man of deep principles. In reality, he’s a base political opportunist, no different from most politicians.”
September 29, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Fascist Creep Factor for Biden’s DOJ Gets Worse Every Day. “We’re almost in ‘stick a fork in it, it’s done’ territory when it comes to justice.”
September 28, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Looks More Presidential Than Biden in Lead-Up to Hurricane. “It’s classless and unprofessional for the White House to ignore DeSantis during a time like this. Calling up the three mayors who are in harm’s way while ignoring DeSantis is just childish grade school posturing though (Can you tell him I’m ignoring him…). There’s a time and a place for everything, and the Biden administration always manages to hit the wrong note.”
September 27, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Drag Queens Hanging Around Kids Are Skeeving Me Out. “I need to know what changed. Was there always this much drag show action around school kids and they were just better at hiding it or did the Dems all go off of their meds at once?”
September 26, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats Won’t Be Derailing the Trump Train Anytime Soon. “Their hatred of Trump is pretty much serving as steroids for his popularity. He takes their tears, anguish, and vitriol and uses it to grow stronger.”
September 23, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: MSM Fact Checkers Are Paste-Eating Idiots, Exhibit A. “In a sane world, the presumption would be that a real fact checker would possess some knowledge that could be applied to his or her craft. We’re talking about 21st-century corruptocrat media, however, so one would be wrong.”
September 22, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Are Dems Finally Remembering They Never Liked Kamala Harris? “Given the current state of President LOLEightyonemillion’s mental ability, Harris should be getting a lot of quality time in front of the public. Who better to keep him as far away from cameras and embarrassing moments than his HISTORIC FIRST one heartbeat away? Obviously, the trouble is that she’s a bigger train wreck in public than he is and she can’t even say it’s age-related.”
September 21, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Burn It All Down — Fire the Creeper Teachers. “One thing I’m constantly grateful for these days is that my daughter is no longer in the K-12 portion of her education journey. It’s a freak-filled jungle out there.”
September 20, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: It’s Like Biden Is Trying to Be the Dems’ November Albatross. “The Democrats’ late-summer flashes of optimism are now yielding to the harshest reality they’ll have to face this fall: their candidates can’t run away from Joe Biden.”
August 4, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Flailing Ways of White House Spokesditz Karine Jean-Pierre. “This woman’s primary function is to be the spokesperson for the President of the United States and she doesn’t know the primary function of the Supreme Court of the United States.”
July 15, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Gavin Newsom Wants to Get Crushed by a Republican in 2024. “He keeps insisting that he’s not running for president, which is what all politicians do when they’re planning on running for president.”
July 6, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: LOL, Trump Is Still the Democrats’ Daddy. “The House Soviet Select Committee on Daddy Issues, also known as the J6 Committee, exists solely to make up reasons to keep Trump from running for president again because they know that they have no one who can beat him in a fair fight and without a generous assist from a pandemic.”
June 24, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: SCOTUS Stands Up for the Second Amendment.
June 23, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Feminists Just Want to Stick It to the Man (and the Woman)!
June 13, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden Can’t Fix Inflation If He Can’t Stop Lying About It. “For several months now I have been accusing the Biden administration of not having any plan whatsoever when it comes to dealing with inflation. It would appear that I have been wrong all along. Upon closer inspection, it’s obvious that their plan is to simply hope that everyone is really bad at math.”
June 10, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Pro-Murder Abortion Ghouls Are Really Getting Out of Control. “Seriously, this is a criminal enterprise, not a protest group.”
June 9, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The ‘Trump 2024’ Tease Needs Go On Until the Last Minute. “I’ve written that Trump needs to you-know-what or get off the pot but now I’m doing a 180. I like him keeping everyone hanging. It makes the Democrats scramble.”
June 7, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden Is Mad That Americans Are Noticing All of His Failure. “There are two types of people in America — those who had high hopes for all of this and those of us who aren’t idiots. There wasn’t much in the almost 50 years that Biden was redefining mediocrity in government that would have given any discerning person a reason to think that this presidency would be otherwise.”
June 6, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Will Squish Republicans Cave to Democrats on Guns? “Democrats are never satisfied once Republicans yield to them. They’ll just want more. Just look at what they’ve done with abortion. They reject any limitations whatsoever.”
June 3, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Lunatic Fringe Thinks Pride Parades Are Good for Kids. “Gosh, it seems like just yesterday that I was writing about being really annoyed by Pride Month even though it just began. Less than a full three days into this year’s version I’m already feeling like I’m going to be drowning in rainbow-colored inanity.”
June 2, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Pride Month Pandering Is Beyond Wearisome. “Pride Month still exists only to perpetuate the myth that gay and trans people are marginalized.”
June 1, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden to Spend His Summer Lying Even More About the Economy. Team Puppet President has been wearing out this tired shtick for a while. While we’re all dealing with things like paycheck-draining trips to the grocery store and gas station, the administration insists on telling us that we just don’t understand how good we have it.”
Recovery summer!
May 31, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Babbling Biden Blurts Out Dems’ Gun-Grabbing Endgame. “Even the days that are supposed to be slow news days get a shot of newsiness in them. Yesterday should have been one of solemn remembrance for our military heroes who have died defending this great nation but President LOLEightyonemillion’s puppetmasters once again let him speak into a microphone.”
May 30, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Memorial Day Reflections. “Now that we’re mired in Let’s Go Brandonland, I’ve been thinking this weekend about what those who gave their lives defending this country would think about what’s going on now. I wouldn’t presume to speak for the fallen but I also know I can’t be the only one pondering such things.”
May 27, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Disturbing Questions but Very Few Answers Regarding Uvalde Tragedy. “It’s well known that I am very pro-law enforcement (see yesterday’s Briefing) but this is really upsetting — especially the way the parents were treated. This flailing by law enforcement officials about what actually happened must be adding to the torture of the grieving parents.”
May 26, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Ever-Classy Obama Uses Texas Massacre to Remind Us He Hates Cops. “Obama’s most enduring legacy is the virulent anti-law enforcement sentiment on the American left. Wherever and whenever there was some conflict between radical, lying leftists and law enforcement Obama made sure to side with the radicals, most notably in Ferguson, Missouri.”
May 24, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats’ Georgia Lies Are Being Laid Bare. “It’s a shame that Abrams and the rest of the Democrats (including the village idiot masquerading as president) can’t be held criminally responsible for incessantly lying about Republicans and voter suppression, which they’ve been doing for decades.”
May 23, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Formulagate Has a Third World Hell Hole Feel to It. “The monumental incompetence of everyone in the Biden administration is truly unprecedented. The two people at the top couldn’t figure out how to open a jar of spaghetti sauce without burning down a house and it just gets worse from there.”
May 20, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Will Hillary Clinton Ever Take the Fall for Being Pure Evil? “The latest doings in the Durham probe are getting so close to Hillary that she’s probably hitting an extra box of Franzia for breakfast every day.”
May 19, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Verbally Groin-Kicks a Reporter and It Is GLORIOUS. “DeSantis knows that he’ll never have a friend in the MSM. He not only doesn’t care, but he also embraces the fact.”
May 18, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Gen. Michael Flynn Punches Back at His Government Tormentors. “Flynn was tragic collateral damage in the Obama/Clinton jihad against Trump. It’s a shame that they can’t be locked up for what they facilitated.”
May 17, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Kamala Harris Exists to Make Joe Biden Seem Coherent. “While I don’t like to attribute any competence to Team Biden, I am beginning to think that his handlers had Kamala Harris in mind for the second spot on the ticket all along.”
May 13, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Biden Justice Department Is Unfocused and Unhinged. “The United States has plenty of real problems but this administration keeps going after phantoms under the bed. Now President LOLEightyonemillion is running around babbling about the dangerous ‘Ultra MAGA’ bogeymen that are rattling around in that empty brain of his.”
May 12, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats’ Baby-Killing Bill Gets Aborted. “The Democrats wanted this to be a single issue that would throw votes their way in this year of desperation but one of them helped save the unborn.”
May 11, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Nancy Pelosi Should Probably Stop Getting Drunk Before Work. “I’ve paid a lot of attention to Pelosi since she first became Speaker and I’ve always been stunned by the fact that the woman is an absolute train wreck whenever she’s near a microphone or a camera. Long before we were being subjected to the incoherent ramblings of the village idiot in the Oval Office right now, Granny Boxwine was barfing up word salads on the regular.”
May 10, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dem Abortion Meltdown Isn’t Slowing GOP Midterms Momentum. “Americans in the heartland are no doubt more concerned with the fact that we’ll all be eating cheap ramen if Biden’s economy keeps spinning out of control. People still vote with their checkbooks (Google it, younger readers) more than their genitals, much to the chagrin of the Democratic elite.”
May 9, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Already Unhinged Abortion Cretins Sink to New Lows. “I hate to begin the week with this, but I’ve got some bad news for the optimists out there: the rift between the right and the left in America isn’t going to get better. In fact, it’s not really a rift anymore. It’s more of a widening ideological chasm that will no doubt soon reach Grand Canyon proportions.”
May 5, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dems’ Disdain for Rural Americans Is Their Real Midterms Problem. “Rural voters who are worrying about financial issues probably aren’t as concerned with abortion on demand and propping up teachers who talk to first-graders about gender reassignment as coastal Dems are.”
May 4, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats Find a New Lunatic Fringe After SCOTUS Leak. “We’re overloaded with examples of the tantrum but I’ll just give you a sort of greatest hits list this morning.”
May 3, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Supreme Court Leaks, Progressive America Freaks. “Because none of them ever seem to work, they took very little time to gather at the Supreme Court to protest. There was chanting and shrieking, probably even some rending of garments.”
May 2, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Disinformation Commies Have a DeSantis Problem. “What’s interesting about this is that the Democrats have a dismal track record when going head-to-head with DeSantis. If Biden’s Truth Nazi effort is going to be DOA or short-lived, who better than DeSantis to help facilitate that?”
April 29, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Joe Biden Admits That He’s Not a Fan of Joe Biden. “There is so much to not like about Joe Biden that it’s difficult to narrow down his worst traits. I’m gonna give it a whirl here though.”
April 28, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Looks Like We’ll All Be Biden Broke Soon. “It’s the age-old, classic tale of just how wrong things can go when the government tries to ‘help.’ There is no shortage of historical evidence regarding exactly what can go wrong, yet politicians — especially those on the left — usually ignore it all and wreck things for the long term in order to win a popularity contest in the short term.”
April 27, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Lib Twitter Tantrum, Day 2—Send Fainting Couches and Diapers. “Imagine millions of grownups taking on the characteristics of a child in his terrible twos who was being raised by parents who had yet to say ‘no’ to him. Alleged adults spent time that they could have used productively engaged in a collective snot-bubble meltdown.”
April 26, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Free Speech Now Has a Heavy Musk Scent. “If free speech lovers had to pick a Who’s Who list of people and organizations we’d like to see annoyed, we couldn’t do better than what Musk provided on Monday.”
April 25, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Has Woke Worn Out Its Welcome for Some Lefties? “COVID-19 isn’t the only plague that this country has been dealing with these past couple of years. Woke wandered away from college campuses and infected almost every area of life, including the boardrooms of corporate America.”
April 22, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Jill Biden’s Criminal Elder Abuse Is Going to Ruin Us All. “It’s important to keep reminding ourselves that we are, in fact, not crazy. After all, we’re living in a time when the seemingly pervasive mainstream media keeps insisting that what we can plainly see with our eyes and hear with our ears isn’t really happening.”
April 21, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Defund the Police — Democrats Lied, Black People Died. “The Ferguson riots play a central role in the Democrats’ incessant disparagement of law enforcement. That’s when His HIgh Holiness the Lightbringer Barack Obama got really comfortable with blaming cops and trusting criminals. What the Democrats did in 2020 was his legacy.”
April 20, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Growing Impotence of Old Media on Display At WaPo and CNN+. “It is important to acknowledge that corporate, mainstream media is losing the stranglehold it once had on the information flow in this country. It may not be happening as quickly as we’d like but it is happening.”
April 19, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Anti-Science, Emotional Weakling Mask Fetishists Had a Rough Monday. “It’s a kink with these emotional cripples. They crave being controlled by the government. It’s a turn-on for them. The thought of being left to their own devices terrifies their submissive, masochistic psyches.”
April 18, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: New York Times Takes a Swing at God, Misses Wildly. “They desperately don’t want us to have a singular authority. The moral relativism that leftists deal in thrives on a lack of absolutes. God is a most definitely inconvenient notion for those who would rather that society be buffeted about by the whims of the day.”
April 14, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Hey FBI, We’re Running Low on Those White Domestic Terrorists You Keep Warning Us About. “Before the cries of ‘RAAAAAAACISM’ come raining down harder (they’re always raining down, after all), I want to say that I’m not positing that all white people are innocent. And I have no doubt that there are some fringe groups out there that are heavy on the Caucasian. What I am saying is that maybe federal law enforcement should look at things on a case-by-case basis, rather than through a lens that’s clouded by a narrative that is driven by a political vendetta.”
April 13, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Mitt Romney Seems To Know That He’s Jeff Flaked Himself. “Republicans aren’t a hive mind like the Democrats. There are always members of the GOP in Congress who are willing to swim upstream in their own party just to get a pat on the head from The New York Times. Yes, the Democrats have had their struggles recently with Joe Manchin, Kyrsten Sinema, and AOC but they’re anomalies. There is always a Manchin, Sinema, or AOC hanging around the GOP.”
April 12, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Confirmed — Blue State Commies Had the Worst COVID Policies. “As those of us who’ve long harbored a healthy distrust of the government know, the government will eventually prove that we were smart for doing so.”
April 11, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Do Republicans Have a Legit Shot at the Senate in November? “Mark Kelly has been flying under the radar as he finishes out the late John McCain’s term. He hasn’t distinguished himself but he hasn’t really made many enemies. The real problem here is that Arizona Governor Doug Ducey is the candidate who would almost be a slam-dunk to beat Kelly but he’s not running.”
April 8, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Reminder — Barack Obama Is Un-American and Awful. “Upfront: I know, I know… RACISM.”
April 7, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats All-In On Being the Pervert Option for November. “The Democrats have long been preying upon the youngest among us via abortion. There was a time, however, that the kids seemed to get a bit of a grace period from them if they managed to survive the Planned Parenthood gauntlet. I don’t know what the kids did to them but that grace period is no more.”
April 6, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Obama Returns to White House and Biden Can’t Find a Friend. “When this trip was announced it was obvious that Biden’s puppetmasters were hoping that a visit from The Lightbringer would inject some energy into an administration that can’t even aspire to be moribund right now. What they got was Barack Obama being Barack Obama and Joe Biden wandering around like the sad boy who can’t get anyone to play with him at his own birthday party.”
April 5, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Elon Musk’s New Majority Stake in Twitter Makes Things Fun Again. “That 9.2% makes Musk Twitter’s largest shareholder now, which is kind of delicious. Yes, it’s a passive stake, which, in theory, means he won’t be influencing the company but this is still a bold move. Musk really doesn’t do anything passively. In fact, he wasted no time stirring things up, tweeting a poll that addressed and poked fun at what is one of the most frequent complaints of all Twitter users.”
April 4, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis vs Disney Is the Fight America Needs Right Now. “It’s not just that Disney is, sadly, taking the woke route, it’s that the company is so wrong on this issue. The woke plague has been infecting corporate America badly for a couple of years but to see a company that was built on wholesome family fun go all-in on talking to 7-year-olds about sex is really disheartening. It’s also perfectly indicative of why we need to push back harder.”
April 1, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Border Nightmare Continues to Get Worse. “Naturally, the Democrat Media Complex is all but ignoring the issue. When Trump was president the flying monkeys couldn’t shut up about it. Now it’s as if the border has vanished into thin air.”
March 30, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Liberal Perv Parade Proving Exactly Why Florida Law Is Needed. “When did the world become so insane that kindergarteners needed to know what teachers did for fun over the weekend? I come from an era when it was nigh on impossible to imagine my teachers existing outside of the school when I was that young. And we certainly weren’t going deep on gender issues then. We were mostly playing tag and eating boogers.”
March 29, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Media’s ‘Reaganesque’ Biden Spin Is WAY Too Much to Stomach. “I’ve had it with the Biden water carriers in the mainstream media. OK, I know I am always in various states of ‘had it’ with them but the you-know-what covering the flying monkeys in the mainstream media have been doing since the speech President LOLEightyOneMillion gave in my ancestral homeland Poland last week has been a bit rough even on my cast-iron stomach.”
March 25, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Fauci’s Folly Has a Disturbing Non-COVID Body Count. “The reason I singled out Fauci in the headline today is because the leftists elevated him to god-like status and it’s been obvious from Day One that he’s an attention whore who relishes being the face of the government’s faux battle against COVID. So tag, he’s it.”
March 23, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Disney’s LGBQTWXYZ Frenzy Sows Division in the Company Family. “This is really sad for those of us who love Disney. I turn into a 9-year-old kid whenever I go to Disneyland (Disneyworld is overrated) and I will never stop loving the place. My screensaver on my phone for the last five years is from spending Father’s Day 2017 at Disneyland with my daughter.”
March 22, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: SCOTUS Confirmation Circus Highlights Dems’ Short Memories. “The Dems are, of course, hoping for a big kumbaya moment despite their shameful behavior, especially during the last two confirmation hearings. Many on the right are clearly in the mood for some righteous anger and retaliation from the GOP.”
March 21, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Is America’s Fauci Fatigue Nearing An End? “It’s mostly a big tease so far. Fauci is a government hack who doesn’t relinquish power easily. Those of us who haven’t been part of the leftist cult that grew around Fauci feel that he might be a vampire who will be there forever.”
March 18, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Reminder — Colin Kaepernick Can’t Throw a Football. “The only reason Kaepernick is ever in the conversation is because of the woke plague. He wasn’t a good quarterback when he was booted out of the NFL but he managed to turn his perpetual victimhood into the reason that he was out of work.”
March 17, 2022
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Why Do Joe Biden’s Handlers Let the Idiot Speak? “It is no secret that Joe Biden isn’t really in control. Some ungodly cabal of puppetmasters is pulling the moron’s strings. From what we’ve seen so far, they aren’t brighter than their drooling charge. If they were, they wouldn’t let Ol’ Gropes speak in public. Ever.”
September 23, 2021
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: We Might Be Spared the Burden of Biden’s Infrastructure Boondoggle. “I can remember a time when ‘trillion’ didn’t routinely come up in proposed legislation. It really wasn’t even that long ago. Now it often seems like a default starting point. We’re playing with Monopoly money now and the D.C. folk spend like drunken sailors on leave in Thailand.”
Sailors in Thailand get some value for their dollar.
September 22, 2021
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Fake Presidency Could Wreck the Dems For a Long Time. “While I do worry about the damage to the U.S. Constitution our senile, alleged president and his puppet masters can do before November of 2022, I also relish the fact that his scorched-earth commie plan might relegate the Democrats to the backbench for quite some time.”
September 21, 2021
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: LOL — Beto O’Rourke Wants to Be Embarrassed Again. “Way back in the day, Beto would have been laughed off of the political stage. The 21st-century mainstream media is so riddled with leftist bias, however, that he’s kept in the national conversation. The MSM hacks actually believe this guy is smart.”
Well, to them he might be.
September 20, 2021
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Idiot Joe’s Neglected Border Crisis Is Getting Even Worse. “By any objective measure, Joe Biden hasn’t been doing well as president. The media and the brain-dead Democrat electorate can’t be objective, of course, but that doesn’t change the fact that the rest of us have to live in the dystopian toilet that Biden keeps clogging.”
September 17, 2021
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Mask/Vaccine Nazis Are Getting More Unhinged Every Day. “Yes, we are suffering from a plague in this country — a plague of rudeness. This pandemic is causing a lot of people to act out in ways that we shouldn’t be tolerating. The mask/vax types are under the false impression that they are morally superior and can threaten or mistreat anyone they want. There were several different stories on Thursday that got my blood boiling a bit.”
September 15, 2021
KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Racist CA Democrats Reject Chance to Elect Historic Black Governor. “It’s no use exhorting my friends there to get out, even though I really wish they would. I know they would love living in America. California mesmerizes people though, especially Southern California. The perfect weather and the beaches help you block out the politics and the fact that lunch always costs at least $100. It’s a sort of lifestyle-induced Stockholm Syndrome that makes conservatives stay. I did it for almost 25 years, all the time believing that I would eventually help bring about some change.”
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