NARRATIVE FAIL: I think we just found the worst media analysis of the Chicago kidnapping.

The Post was quick to cover the story, and they had a good, detailed report published early, early Thursday morning.

Then the newspaper’s first commentary on the incident was Callum Borchers’ hot take: “Pro-Trump narratives converge in one awful attack streamed on Facebook.”

Oh boy.

The basic gist of the article is this: Kidnapping and torture is bad, but it’s also bad that Trump supporters are using the attack to reaffirm their false notions about violence in Chicago, media bias and persecution of white people.

Except of course that Chicago is terribly violent, Borchers’ column was nothing but bias, and his bias was meant to distract from the fact that a white person was partially scalped while being taunted about his race.

Never change, WaPo.

COVERUP? DNC rejected FBI request to examine hacked email server, law enforcement official says.

“The FBI repeatedly stressed to DNC officials the necessity of obtaining direct access to servers and data, only to be rebuffed until well after the initial compromise had been mitigated. This left the FBI no choice but to rely upon a third party for information. These actions caused significant delays and inhibited the FBI from addressing the intrusion earlier,” the senior law enforcement official said Thursday night in an email.

The “third party” to which the official was referring is Crowdstrike, a California-based cybersecurity firm, hired to do the work of the FBI even though, as one law enforcement official told BuzzFeed, it’s unusual for the FBI not to conduct its own forensic research.

“CrowdStrike is pretty good. There’s no reason to believe that anything that they have concluded is not accurate,” one intelligence official reportedly said.

But the latest development raises new questions as to why Democratic party leaders made the decision to deny the FBI access to its server, even while some openly questioned the legitimacy of Trump’s stunning victory, and vowed to get to the bottom of who or what attempted to call into question the very bedrock of American Democracy.

Protecting the very bedrock of American Democracy has nothing on protecting DNC secrets.

YOU DON’T SAY: No One Knows What Trump Is Going to Tweet, Spokesman Says.

Even Trump’s harshest critics have to admit this is a welcome change after eight years of “Let me be clear” and “This is not who we are.”

OIL WARS: This “Rogue” Oil & Gas Nation Just Set A Slew Of Output Records.

With 2016 now closed out, we’re getting the first looks at year-end data. And numbers from one nation in the energy space have been particularly eye-catching this week.

Russia.

Over the last 15 years, Russia vaulted upwards in oil and gas production — challenging for the world’s top producer of crude. A fact that’s especially critical given this big producer is a “rogue” nation that lies outside the purview of OPEC.

And 2016 was another big year for Russian oil output. With stats showing the country’s production rose again this past year — to an average 10.96 million barrels per day, up from 10.72 million barrels per day in 2015.

That came on the back of strong national production in December, where Russian producers pumped 11.21 million barrels per day — marking the highest output level in nearly 30 years.

It’s possible to not feel any joy for Moscow while at the same time not shedding any tears for OPEC.

WELL, THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY, OLD CHAP: UK military to build prototype ‘laser weapon’

TRUE, BUT… The American auto industry does not need Trump to stage-manage it.

Trump’s tweets to GM and Toyota are probably less about trade and macroeconomics, than he’s telling his Rust Belt voters: “I’ve got your back.”

And that’s a message few of them have gotten from Washington in decades.

PROCUREMENT BLUES: The most expensive F-35 variant has hit another major snag that could take years to fix.

Essentially the problem, detailed in a Navy report with data dating back to 2014, deals with rough takeoffs that hurt and disorient pilots at the critical moment when they’re taking off from a carrier.

The Pentagon’s red team found the problem was due to several factors central to the plane’s design, and recommended several fixes that will take several months to several years to fully fix. The report states that long term actions to address the problem will not take place until 2019, at which point they’ll take 12-36 months to implement.

Redesigns to the plane, as well as to carriers, may be necessary to fully address the problem.

But then this:

At a roundtable discussion in December, F-35 Program Executive Officer Lt. Gen. Christopher Bogdan assured reporters that F-35C takeoff problems only occur when the planes takeoff with low weight load outs, saying ” you don’t see this problem at all” when the plane is more laden with ordnance or fuel.

A representative from Lockheed Martin told Business Insider that all the catapult launches they had monitored were successful.

This is the first time since the F-111 that the Air Force and Navy have tried to share a common airframe, and naval variant never made it to production.

CLAIM: ‘Repeal and Delay’ Won’t Prevent Obamacare Repeal Chaos.

What about the ObamaCare-created chaos of being forced to switch plans and providers every year?

The 2018 Senate Map Puts Senator Schumer’s Filibuster Threat to the Test.

Senators Joe Manchin and Heidi Heitkamp represent states that went to Trump by margins larger than Clinton’s actual share of the vote, and will face intense pressure from their voters not to interfere dramatically in nominations. Three more Democratic Senators won in 2012 thanks in large part to big missteps by their opponents, but now face electorates that picked Trump by decisive margins. Sen. Claire McCaskill has already signaled she will fight Trump, but her state went overwhelmingly to him and she won’t have the luxury of Todd Akin as an opponent again. Sen. Joe Donnelly represents a state that clearly rejected Evan Bayh’s comeback and delivered its electoral votes to Trump by an apocalyptic margin. Jon Tester has played things smart, and represents a state that, despite giving Trump a lopsided victory, re-elected its Democratic Governor. However, his state flipped its other Senate seat from blue to red just two years ago, so he too will need to walk delicately as he faces re-election in a midterm year.

Beyond them, an additional five Democrats represent states that went narrowly for Trump: Senators Tammy Baldwin, Debbie Stabenow, Sherrod Brown, Bob Casey, and Bill Nelson. They have more wiggle room as their states went by smaller margins, and all represent states that voted for President Obama’s re-election, but they are facing midterm electorates in states that have mostly favored Republicans in off-years for the last decade. Throw in independent Angus King, who will face re-election in a state which saw its 2nd district move eighteen points rightward in four years, and Amy Klobuchar, whose state voted more Republican than the national vote for the first time in seven decades, and you can see where many in the Democratic ranks facing re-election will have to wriggle around.

Dick Durbin is gonna need a bigger whip.

NEVER GONNA DRINK YOU UP: 80’s pop singer Rick Astley coming out with his own craft beer.

“I enjoy a beer with friends and I’m hoping to sell my own brand soon,” Astley said.

“I’ve been working with the Mikkeller brewery in Copenhagen, which was founded ten years ago by a teacher who made his own beer at home. Mikkeller beer is quite experimental and they’ve been sending me various bottles to sample.”

The singer explained that the brewery has a variety with ales with some being “quite fruity – one was a pear beer they make for a restaurant.” His own beer is reportedly a fruity tasting pilsner.

If I’m reading this right, Astley isn’t coming up with his own brew, but sampling Mikkeller’s to find one he likes well enough to put his name on.

So no different from most celebrity-branded perfumes then.

I’VE GOT A LITTLE LIST, THEY NEVER WOULD BE MISSED: 9 People We’re Hoping Will Just Shut Up and Go Away in 2017.

MAD DUCK: Twenty-two Guantanamo detainees to be freed within days as Obama plans mass transfer of fanatics who have threatened to bomb and behead Americans.

The group being released will be drawn from those held at Guantanamo – who include an accused senior al Qaeda bomb-maker, the terror group’s top financial manager, and two intended 9/11 hijackers, who have all been held in the Cuba-based U.S. detention facility for more than a decade.

According to a military source briefed on the process, 22 detainees are being prepared for transfer out of the camp, also known as Gitmo, before January 20.

Although the White House has not specified which inmates will be transferred out – or which foreign countries have agreed to accept them – it has indicated that this will be a priority for Obama in his final days in office.

Attention, Dana Milbank: This is “the farewell message Obama wishes he could give” — and he just might.

LESS SHRINKAGE: This is your aging brain on the Mediterranean diet.

In a group of 562 Scots in their 70s, those whose consumption patterns more closely followed the Mediterranean diet experienced, on average, half the brain shrinkage that was normal for the group as a whole over a three-year period.

To glean how diet might influence brain aging, researchers tapped into a large group of Scottish people who were all born in 1936 and had many measures of health status and lifestyle tracked from an early age.

Around the time they reached age 70, 843 members of the “Lothian Birth Cohort” filled out a dietary frequency form that gave researchers a broad look at what foods they ate, which they avoided, and how often they consumed them. At about age 73 and again around age 76, their brains were scanned to gauge the volume of the overall organ and a few of its key components.

The researchers used the food-frequency surveys to divide the group into two — those who at least approximated a Mediterranean-style diet and those who came nowhere close. Even though many in the Med-diet group were far from perfect in their adherence, the average brain-volume loss differed significantly between the two groups.

There may be something to this. I used to be acquainted with a gentleman of Italian descent who credited his good health and longevity to a nightly tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil — and his only other habits were women and booze.

HOW CAN WE MISS HER IF SHE WON’T GO AWAY? Clinton Mulling NYC Mayoral Run.

Hank Sheinkopf, a New York Democratic consultant, told Newsmax, “She is wildly popular among New Yorkers — so much so that were she to file, [Mayor Bill] de Blasio would have to file his retirement papers on the same day.”

“She’s talking about it,” a former elected city official told Newsmax.

De Blasio dragged his feet endorsing Clinton during the election. It took him six months to endorse, and when he finally did on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” in October 2015, Clinton’s campaign emailed reporters saying it was “a sign of the campaign’s continued momentum.”

Haven’t New Yorkers suffered enough self-inflicted wounds?

UPDATE: Former Bush operative Matthew Dowd mulls challenging Cruz for Senate.

Cruz is showing some weakness, but it seems doubtful that Dowd is the man to connect with Texas voters.

BREAKING: Megyn Kelly Being Replaced by Tucker Carlson at Fox.

He’s earned it. And think of how happy this will make Stephen Kruiser.

THESE DAYS DOESN’T EVERYTHING? BBC’s ‘Real Housewives of ISIS’ Skit Causes Liberal Heads to Explode.

Video at the link.

51 AND DONE? Puerto Rico’s new governor promises immediate push for statehood.

NO STATIC AT ALL: Surprise! Monster Burst of Radio Waves Arose in Tiny Galaxy.

For the first time, scientists have directly traced an incredibly intense, blindingly bright burst of radio waves — known as an FRB — back to its home galaxy. Surprisingly, this impressive cosmic radio flasher has somewhat humble origins, according to three new studies detailing the findings.

FRB stands for “fast radio burst.” These flickers of light were just discovered in 2007, and although they last for just a fraction of a second, they release more energy than our entire sun will radiate in 10,000 years. Eighteen FRBs have been detected, but scientists estimate that one of these bursts occurs somewhere in the sky about once every 10 seconds.

What cosmic event could release such an intense burst of radio waves? That’s still a mystery, but narrowing down the precise location of one of these radio blasts is a big step toward cracking the case.

I’m not saying that it’s aliens… but it’s aliens.

HEALTH: Most Kids Should Try Peanuts.

Most kids should get a small taste of peanut protein by the time they are 6 months old, and they should get regular doses if they don’t have an allergic reaction. Those at highest risk should be tested in a specialist’s office.

“We actually want all children to have peanut introduced,” Dr. Matthew Greenhawt, an allergy specialist at Children’s Hospital Of Colorado, told NBC News.

It’s a big change from previous guidelines, which recommended that people keep peanuts and peanut products away from their kids completely until they are 3 years old if there is a risk of allergies.

The new guidelines from the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) and other groups follow up on findings that giving peanut to kids early enough in life can train their immune systems so they don’t overreact and cause a dangerous allergic reaction.

As a child in the 1970s, I didn’t know or even know of anyone with a peanut allergy, and peanut butter was practically its own food group.

THIS WILL END WELL: Democratic lawmakers considering challenge to Trump’s Electoral College victory.

Reps. Ed Perlmutter of Colorado, Bobby Scott of Virginia and Jamie Raskin of Maryland are among a group of Democrats eyeing challenges.

Members have the right to lodge those protests when Congress officially counts the electoral votes on Friday. But for the protests to have any effect on the proceedings, they’ll need to secure the backing of at least one senator, and it’s unclear whether any Senate Democrats are weighing a similar challenge.

Either way, there’s effectively no chance the protests will alter the actual election outcome, given Republican control of Congress. Instead, the effort could give Democrats a new venue to protest Trump’s victory. And if the Democrats can secure a senator’s support, the challenges could delay the certification of Trump’s victory for hours while the House and Senate separately debate the merits of each protested electoral college vote.

It’s a temper tantrum with TV coverage.

OUT OF THE OFFICE: New French Law Gives Workers ‘Right to Disconnect’ from Email.

POLITICS IS WHERE BAD IDEAS GO TO ACHIEVE ETERNAL LIFE: Basic income is the latest bad political idea that refuses to die.

FASTER, PLEASE: Obama’s Coming Obscurity.

Emmett Tyrrell:

The last time I drew attention to Obama’s lamentable condition some readers scoffed at me and pointed to Obamacare, which has practically wrecked the healthcare system for millions of Americans. Surely that disaster casts a long and dark shadow behind the 44th president, whom they admonished. I remained serene. And what about Obama’s dealings with Israel, our most loyal ally in the Middle East? Just the other day, one of his henchpersons ambushed Israel in the U.N. Security Council. Admittedly, there have been setbacks suffered by the United States while this incompetent was in office, but I believe they will be short-lived. President-elect Donald Trump is coming to town, and he is bringing with him an exceptional Cabinet. Already he is threatening to erase Obama’s foolishness, and he is doing it on Twitter. Wait until he is seated in the Oval Office with the power of the other two branches of government behind him. In the end it will be seen that I was right, as I was right in calling the election. Obama leaves no shadow, not even a legacy — Trump won on Nov. 8.

President Trump will arrive at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue carrying an attache case bulging with executive orders to rescind and agency regulations to nullify. I am sure he is aware that for years the 44th president and his servitors have been promulgating regulations large and small to give the bureaucracy evermore intrusive control over business and the citizenry. Trump will, as he promised, cut the waste, rein in government and drain the swamp.

Read the whole thing — although as I’ve become much more hopeful about the cutting and reining, I’ve become more suspect of the draining. But that particular two outta three would be amazing.

EVEN MORE RETAIL BLUES: Dismal holiday sales at Macy’s, Kohl’s spell gloom for sector.

Shares of other department store operators, including J.C. Penney Co Inc (JCP.N), also fell as the dismal showing came as a shock to investors, given heightened expectations of a bump in holiday spending this year.

“The strength around Thanksgiving and Christmas was insufficient to offset the sales weakness in the balance of the quarter,” Stifel, Nicolaus & Co analyst Richard Jaffe wrote.

“In addition, these peak selling periods were characterized by greater promotions which contributed to weaker than anticipated gross margin as well.”

The National Retail Federation forecast 2016 holiday sales to rise 3.6 percent to $656 billion. A jump in spending in the final stretch of December was seen likely to offset a slow start to the holiday shopping season.

The problem with holiday retail shopping is that the experience is almost uniformly awful.

HEH: China Tells Trump To Cut The Crap With ‘Twitter Diplomacy’

True story:

China has slammed US President-elect Donald Trump over his use of Twitter to conduct international diplomacy in a commentary published by the country’s official news agency Xinhua.

Trump has earned a reputation for making unpredictable statements on Twitter that often depart from long-standing US policies and he’s made several controversial comments about China.

“The obsession with ‘Twitter diplomacy’ is undesirable,” said the bylined commentary, which only appeared on the agency’s Chinese website. Xinhua is the biggest and most influential of China’s state-run media.

I’ve gotten used to it, and I suspect Beijing will, too.