Author Archive: Sarah Hoyt

YES, I KNOW. IT RUINS THE NICE PANIC WE’VE GOT GOING:  Data & Numbers: COVID 19.

Chances increase daily that Winnie the Flu is a paper tiger.

THESE DAYS WHEN ANGER IS OFTEN CRIPPLING IN TERMS OF WHAT I CAN PRODUCE, IT’S ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE SOMETHING TO LAUGH ABOUT, AND THIS ONE IS A DOOZIE:  Sans sanction ni restrictions, le Portugal est (relativement) épargné par le #coronavirus.

For those who don’t feel like Google translate, that is roughly “Without sanctions or restrictions, Portugal is (relatively) spared by #coronavirus.  Fair. Portugal has far fewer fatalities than Spain or Italy, which is inexplicable.  Unless you assume that the Portuguese aren’t throwing grandma from the train, that is taking the opportunity to rid themselves of elders, while the other two nations almost certainly are.  Or take into account the fact that Portugal has a private medical system alongside state-provided health system. (Spain did too, but nationalized at the beginning of the crisis, because… I don’t know. What ARE they putting in the paella these days, anyway?)
BUT the truly hilarious thing in that article is that the Portuguese Prime Minister attributes this to the Portuguese being — I swear I have to pause and laugh before I type it — more organized than other Europeans.

I have no idea what he’s smoking, or where he found it, but that’s potent stuff.  Breaking rules and laws is by way of being a Portuguese pastime.  Portuguese don’t line up, they scrum.  There isn’t anything requiring order and careful deliberation that the Portuguese don’t do sideways, backwards and upside down.  And frankly that’s part of the reason I retain some fondness for the place!  Disciplined!  I told my husband and rendered him speechless for minutes!

FROM BLAKE SMITH:  The Road to Stonberg (The Mercenary Series Book 1).

Gavril of Grimsby is not your ordinary monster-slayer for hire…

Gavril thought defeating a giant was the most interesting thing he’d do all week. But when a merchant caravan needs guards for the treacherous journey over the mountains to Stonberg, he can’t resist signing on, and learns that even peaceful men don’t always have peaceful lives.
*I’m reliably informed this adventure involves oggling pretty girls and killing monsters. Because the reverse would just be wrong. Also it would probably then be one of my books. This one is probably more fun ;) – SAH*

SURE. WHY NOT? THE PERSON WE WANT ONE OF JOE BIDEN’S HEARTBEATS AWAY FROM THE PRESIDENCY IS THE IDIOT WHO TRIED TO PRACTICE MEDICINE WITHOUT A LICENSE AND FORBID DOCTORS FROM USING LIFE SAVING TREATMENTS BECAUSE ORANGE MAN BAD!  Gretchen Whitmer: Possible VP Pick, Derping Loon.

COOL. EVERYONE IN VERMONT? START GOING NAKED. WE’LL SEE HOW LONG THAT LASTS:  Vermont Says Target And Costco Sales Of Clothes, Toys, And Beauty Supplies Is Non-Essential.

It will also answer once and for all the question of whether or not a UFO landed in Des Moines Iowa, carrying what look like masses of animated tapioca. And whether a lot of people are wearing them between their shoulders.  (What? Like the rest of you who have read Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters haven’t been thinking exactly that the last month!)

THE SAME PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THE UN. THE SAME PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT ALL CULTURES ARE THE SAME AND ALL COUNTRIES ARE INTERESTED ONLY IN THE WELFARE OF THE WORLD. IDIOTS. MORONS. PEOPLE WHO WERE BORN WITHOUT A BRAIN AND HAVE NEVER ACQUIRED ONE. MOST OF OUR MASS MEDIA AND 90% OF OUR LEFTISTS:  Who Believes WHO?

WELL! THE SHIP FLEW A PORTUGUESE FLAG, MAKING THIS PORTUGAL’S FIRST NAVAL VICTORY SINCE THE EARLY NINETEENTH CENTURY, I THINK:  The Law of Gross Tonnage Applies.