PRETEND NUMBERS HAVE REAL CONSEQUENCES: Retail sales numbers are fake but the harm is real.

SIC SEMPER ELITIST NIHILIST NONSENSE: 1917: A Shattering Discovery From The Year Art Went Into The Toilet.

THEY REALLY, REALLY REALLY WANT A MONARCHY: Step One: FAIL.

I AIN’T WAITING WITH SANDWICHES BY THE PHONE: In Trump’s America, social justice warriors need to do the one thing they hate.

SO, WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? NYT’s public editor is right. Its 2016 coverage could have been better.

WHEN REPUBLICANS USED OBAMA’S MIDDLE NAME, THEY WERE CALLED RACIST: If these people had no double standards, they would have no standards at all. Poor Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.

FUTURE GENERATIONS WILL LAUGH AT OUR PRESIDENTS HAVING A “CLIMATE PLAN”: No, really. Trump’s climate plan might not be so bad after all.

YEAH, I TOO WANT TO TELL THEM ‘FORGET IT, THE BOAT SANK’: Political Religion.

DO YOU WANT A CIVIL WAR? THIS IS HOW YOU GET A CIVIL WAR: We don’t elect individual electors, people we trust to “vote their conscience.”  We vote for people we don’t even know to do nothing else than  carry our vote.  They do this, they’re invalidating everyone’s votes and abrogating to themselves the right to choose who’ll govern.  Government by the electors over the people is NOT what this republic is about.  Will you tolerate this?  The Hail Mary pass that could deny Donald Trump the presidency: It’s up to you, electors.

HE’S NOT A LAME DUCK SO MUCH AS A MAD DUCK: Obama’s Last Dereliction.

HONESTLY, THE LEFT DOES SO MUCH PROJECTING THAT THE MOVIE THEATER WORKERS ARE COMPLAINING: Report on Scourge of Fake News Turns Out to Be Faked.

ARE THEY EVER GOING TO FIND THEIR MINDS AGAIN? The Post-Election Pauline Kael Award Goes to. . . . The Left.

AND THEY KNOW FROM FAKE NEWS:  All the News that’s Fit to Fake.

IT’S NOT LIKE WE DIDN’T WARN THEM: Washington Post Writer: ‘The Greatest Thing That Happened to the Republican Party Is Barack Obama’.

PROGNOSIS UNLIKELY:  Dear liberals: Start practicing the empathy you preach.

THE DOG FOOD IS GREAT WE JUST NEED TO ADVERTISE MORE: Have you ever noticed that whenever the Democrats lose it’s always that we must not have got the message?  They can never believe we hear them fine, we just don’t want what they’re selling.  Pelosi challenger: Dems ‘got off message’ in election.

BOY, DO THEY EVER: Election over, Associated Press Still Shills for the Left.  They’re performing the Roll Left and Die Maneuver.

MY CATS TELL ME IT’S BECAUSE I’M THE RESULT OF A LONG BREEDING PROGRAM TO CREATE THE PERFECT PET FOR THEM: Why the heck do animals live in our houses?

DEAR IDIOTS, THE GAME GEEKS ARE DOING THAT INSTEAD OF– OH, NEVER MIND: Feds Spend $224,998 on Reproductive Health Video Game. Say it with me, now: “Of course they did.”

GIVEN I’M ON MY THIRD SET OF HEINLEINS, THIS SOUNDS GOOD: Protect Your Library the Medieval Way, With Horrifying Book Curses.

ROCK AND ROLLER SHOWS CLASS TO A CONSERVATIVE; IN OTHER NEWS, DEMONS BUYING ICE SKATES AND WINTER COATS: Stevie Van Zandt calls out ‘Hamilton’ cast for ‘bullying’ Pence.

CLINTON WON THE ELECTION WE DIDN’T HAVE.  DIFFERENT RULES WOULD DICTATE A DIFFERENT CAMPAIGN: Why ‘moral outrage’ over the Electoral College outrages me.

THIS WILL BE REPORTED AS “BIASED PUBLIC REJECTED UNBIASED MEDIA”: MRC/YouGov Poll: Most Voters Saw, Rejected News Media Bias.

REAL LIFE? WHAT COMPANY MAKES THAT GAME? Nobody has real friends anymore.

WHEN LEFTIST PRIVILEGE SPEAKS, THIS IS THE ONLY ANSWER: Shut Up and Sing.