YOU’D BETTER LEARN TO SWIM, OR YOU’LL SINK LIKE A STONE: For the times, they are achanging. The Shift.

I THINK HE SERIOUSLY UNDERESTIMATES THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE MAD ABOUT ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION:Graham: If You Don’t Back DREAM Act, ‘I Don’t Want You to Vote for Me’.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, MY FRIENDS ARE WEIRD: Desperately Seeking Tentacles. (No, that’s not what it sounds like,but I found it funny.)

INDEED: Legalized Highway Robbery: Civil Asset Forfeiture.

BUT THEY WEREN’T SIGNALING VIRTUE LOUDLY ENOUGH!  Why ‘Vogue’’s Attempt to Embrace ‘Gender Fluidity’ Backfired.

IT’S TRUE: Dogs Have A Few Gene Mutations Similar To Ones In Humans With Williams-Beuren Syndrome. i.e. Every dog is genetically a very good boy.

NEWS YOU CAN USE! How to tell if your therapist is crazier than you.

IN THESE SHOES? I DON’T THINK SO! Humans probably could have outrun a T-Rex.

IN THE EMAIL FROM J. M. NEY-GRIMM: The Tally Master.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE: Fmr. U.N. Amb. Power Emerges As Central Figure In Obama Unmasking Investigation.

OF COURSE THEY DO: Group that Protested NRA Over ‘Violent’ Rhetoric Embraces Convicted Cop Killer.

THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD TO PUBLICATION: How Did We Get to This Point?

EVERYONE IS A LOSER FOREVER IN THE VICTIMHOOD STAKES: That Didn’t Take Long.

IS THIS MORE OR LESS EMPOWERING THAN FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION AND WIFE BEATING?  ‘Halal sex’ guide aims to empower Muslim women in the bedroom.

HEY, IT’S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO:Not Enough Sex? Stop Having Threesomes With the Government.   You don’t know where that government has been, nor the diseases it’s carrying.  Next thing you know, you’ll wake up with Hoof ‘n Mouth disease.

INDEED:Why McCain’s Glioblastoma Will Be the Fight of His Life.

WELL, I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING ELSE: Stop snacking and eat a big breakfast if you want to lose weight.

SOMETIMES IT’S ALL YOU CAN DO:  Lighting A Candle on the Road to Damascus.

I GUESS I HAVE TO LISTEN TO RADIOHEAD NOW: Radiohead’s Refusal to Back Down from Tel Aviv Gig Shows True Tolerance.

WELL, THAT’S CHANGED.  IT USED TO BE HILLARY’S POPULARITY ROSE THE LESS SHE WAS SEEN: Clinton is still apparently more unpopular than Trump.

THE THEOLOGICAL OPINIONS OF IDIOT PROGRESSIVES: Praying for the president .

LET’S DO THE LEGISLATIVE WARP AGAIN: Back to the drawing board on health insurance reform. It’s just a step to the left… and then a step to the left.

WHAT IF THEY GAVE A DOOMSDAY AND NOBODY CAME? Climate Scientists Move Global Meltdown from 2018 to 2168. You’d think they’d have learned the trick from science fiction writers: make your predictions happen after you’re safely dead.  But at least they’re now catching up.

SO SINCE THE FORTIES THE GLACIER HAS GROWN, NOW IT’S RECEDED SOME… IT’S ALMOST LIKE THIS IS CYCLICAL OR SOMETHING: Bodies of couple missing since 1942 likely found in glacier.

FUNNY NAME FOR BARS:Mall installs ‘husband pods’ for men who don’t want to shop.