NEWS YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY HYPOTHETICALLY BE ABLE TO USE:  What Should You Do If You Find a Piece of China’s Crashed Space Station?

INDEED, WHY DO THEY WANT TO KEEP EFFECTIVE WEAPONS FROM THE GENERALLY WEAKER SEX?  Citigroup is Sexist! And other tales of the culture war.

STOP MALIGNING MEDIEVAL KIDS:  Children’s Crusade? No, It’s Worse.

THEY WOULDN’T LIKE IT IF THEY GOT IT:  You Say You Want a Revolution.

USEFUL IDIOTS:  There’s So Much Derp at the March For Our Lives.

IF IT WEREN’T FOR DOUBLE STANDARDS …  Scott Pruitt slammed for spending less on travel than Obama’s EPA chiefs.

LIKE HECK WOMEN DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT AS A GIRL, GROWING UP, I COULDN’T GET AWAY FROM THAT TALK:  ‘Secret code’ blinded me to the agony of childbirth.

RECENT EVENTS PROVE YOU CANNOT RELY ON GOVERNMENT TO DO IT:  Historic churches install metal detectors to prevent terrorism.

NO KIDDING! HE WAS EXPECTING SOFTBALLS LOBBED OVER THE PLATE:  McCabe: I was ‘confused’ in interview with investigators.

THEY PROBABLY DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE MEANS TO PROPERLY LOOK AFTER ELEPHANTS, BUT….  Lincoln’s letters with Thai king displayed at new exhibit.

PEOPLE: LIBERAL ARTS CAN’T GET ANY SILLIER. LIBERAL ARTS: HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS:  Sociologist: Vegan Diets Promote ‘White Masculinity’.

OF COURSE THEY WERE:  Actors at Casting Call Are Surprised by Real Gun Facts They’re Asked to Read.

THIS IS SO SURPRISING FOR LEFTISTS.  WHERE IS THAT SHOCKED FACE?   Obama Regs on For-Profit Colleges, Finance, Railroads, and Airlines All Profited His Best Friend.

ON THE ONE HAND ONE UNDERSTANDS BEING AFRAID OF NOT HAVING MILITARY FUNDING.  OTOH, HOW MUCH ROOM DO WE HAVE FOR CRAZY OF THIS KIND:  Trump Signs $1.3 Trillion Spending Bill, Vows He Won’t ‘Do It Again’.

AH! SOCIALISM.  SAME AS IT’S EVER BEEN: Hilarious: Venezuela to eliminate 3 zeroes from currency to combat ‘economic persecution’.  In socialist countries, you can die laughing.

I’M SHOCKED, SHOCKED:  Michelle Obama admits her vegetable garden shtick was all a ruse.

MOONBEAM? CRAZY?  DUH.  Is California Governor Jerry Brown Mentally Ill?   Mind you, legally insane is another kettle of fish.

THIS WILL NOT END WELL:  You Can Vote For Conservatism, But You Can’t Get It.

SANE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE OPPOSED THE IRAN DEAL.  I GUESS THE LEFT OPPOSES ALL SANE PEOPLE.  SO, ANOTHER FRIDAY:  John Bolton Named National Security Advisor, The Pearl Clutching Reaction Is Epic.

THERE WILL BE GUNS IN CLASSROOMS, THE ONLY QUESTION IS IN WHOSE HANDS THEY WILL BE:  Only small number of teachers support guns in classrooms.

SURE GLAD EVERYBODY SIGNED THOSE CLIMATE ACCORDS:  Global carbon emissions have hit a record high.

MEH. RICH FOLK BEEN DOING THIS SINCE MONEY WAS INVENTED:  Childless singles paying ‘mating agency’ to meet people for baby-making.

IN ALL HONESTLY, NOTHING ABOUT BDSM STRIKES ME AS SEXY — IT SEEMS A GREAT DEAL OF TEDIUM FOR AT LEAST ONE PARTNER — BUT I SUPPOSE OTHERS DISAGREE:  This vital part of BDSM is a lot less sexy than you’d think.

AND AGAIN, SERIOUSLY?   Affluenza boy to be released.

SERIOUSLY?  Is Big Brother now in the dentist’s office?