IT APPEARS STARS WERE COLLAPSING AND PRODUCING OXYGEN EARLIER THAN WE THOUGHT:  Old oxygen sheds new light on the beginning of the universe.

DANGEROUS ONES:  Yes MS-13 Gang Members Are Animals. Here’s Why.

THE MEDIA HAS NO CREDIBILITY ANYMORE:   American Voters Aren’t Buying Hamas.

TIRESOME IS WHAT IT IS:  The Invincible Mendacity and Hypocrisy of the Liberal Media.

THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HEADS SHE WINS, TAILS HE LOSES:  Rise of breadwinner moms means more women are paying spousal, child support.

THEN AGAIN, SO DO SOME FEMALES:  Lady poops on restaurant floor, flings it at cashier.

THAT’S BECAUSE THEY THROW THEIRS AT PEOPLE:  Chimpanzee nests have less fecal matter than human beds.

IT STILL COMES DOWN TO “PUMP OUT THOSE BABIES, BABY!”:  How women over 40 can save the human race.

GETTING THAT MENTAL HEALTH SUPPLEMENTAL SECURITY STIPEND IS SO EASY YOU’D HAVE TO BE CRAZY NOT TO:  Prison workers explain how inmates scam the system.

LESS LETHAL WHAT?  WE’VE FOUND IT! USA Today wins the ‘hottest f*cking take of all time’ on ‘less-lethal’ guns used in Santa Fe shooting.

NOT WHAT WAS EXPECTED:  Homo naledi’s brain: Like ours, but smaller.

BITTER COOKIES:  Girl Scouts To Meet With Ohio Senators To Push For Gun Control.

THE NEWEST DISPATCH OF THE CULTURE WARS. IT’S NOT JUST SF, THEY’RE COMING FOR EVERYONE:  Cultural Bifurcation.  (Long but good.)

GET READY FOR THE FUTURE, IT IS MURDER:  Thought criminals.

YOU KNOW, THIS SHOCKED FACE IS GETTING WORN OUT:  Judiciary Committee Transcripts on Trump Tower Meeting Confirm It Was a Big Nothingburger.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  Broward County’s Promise Program Was A Failure From The Start.

HINT: “IDENTITY STUDIES” AIN’T WHERE THE DOUGH IS:  Picking the right college major could be worth $1.7M.

TRYING TO PICK UP WHERE “FAST AND FURIOUS” FAILED:   Trial Of H&K Officials Over Illegal Gun Shipments To Mexico Begins.

THE ANSWER STARTS WITH “NY PARENTS” AND ENDS WITH “HIPSTER TREND” – BUT IF YOU’RE CONSIDERING “REGGIO EMILIA” READ THIS:  Why NYC parents are obsessed with this hipster preschool trend.

TEACH WOMEN TO NOT DON CLOWN MAKE-UP AND STAB MEN:  Teen swears off kinky sex after ex-girlfriend in clown makeup stabs him.

NEVER MIND.  I’D BET THEY WANT US TO HOLD THEIR BEERS WHILE THEY GET EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING:  Trump-Hating MSM Hacks Just Wrapped Up Their Most Embarrassing Week Yet.

LET’S FACE IT: NOBODY LIKES HAVING A DIRTY AURA BUT MOST OF US JUST USE THOSE AURA-CLEAN DRYER SHEETS:   Where rich New Yorkers go to get their auras cleansed.

THE BOBBIES LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS CORRECT 2% OF THE TIME:  UK’s facial-recognition tech is ‘wrong 98 percent of the time.’

IN THE EMAIL FROM PETER GRANT: The Stones of Silence: Cochrane’s Company: Book One.

The secret is out – the Mycenae system is the hottest new mineral find in the spiral arm. Now it’s about to become ground zero in a gold rush by every crooked company and asteroid thief in the galaxy.

Andrew Cochrane, with his crew of the finest veterans and cunning rogues, have an even better scheme. They’ve conned the owner into hiring them as a mercenary security company to defend the system. With no oversight but their own, Cochrane’s Company plans to seize the richest pickings for themselves.

But nothing ever comes easy. If they want to keep their loot, they’re going to have to outwit and outfight every smuggler, bandit and renegade after the same prize – and their boss, too!

IF YOU CANNOT SEE WHY THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA, G AHEAD AND IMPROVE THE GENE POOL:  People are taking hot lava selfies with Hawaii’s erupting volcano.