AMERICA’S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD:
Starbucks Workers Freeze In Awestruck Wonder As Man Orders Something Called A 'Black Coffee' https://t.co/brXsmxolXk
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) September 30, 2026
I admit it — it’s me. Around 2010, when the Obamacare laws required chain restaurants to list calories, and I saw just how heavy a typical venti half-caf blonde dark-roast cold-brew nitro espresso Frappuccino was, I switched to black coffee before quitting Starbucks entirely. No wonder they have so many more ingredients to add to their drinks; Starbucks’ black coffee is the worst of worst.