GOT WOKE, GOING BROKE: Jaguar Land Rover is stuck in a doom loop of its own making.

June’s big investor-strategy day, at which PB Balaji, JLR’s new boss, pledged to focus on “propulsion flexibility”, was yet more confused corporate waffle from an organisation that has turned vacuous jargon into an art form.

At times, the nonsense coming out of Solihull (JLR’s West Midlands office) has been so profoundly silly that one wonders whether even the poor souls tasked with articulating it to employees and customers understand what it means.

A company whose bold advertising once enticed motorists with the promise of driving a “12-cylinder animal” now trots out slogans such as “live vivid” and “copy nothing” as part of a credulous, unnecessary and self-destructive embrace of diversity.

Indeed, JLR has been so enthusiastic about adopting fashionable causes that it seems to have forgotten its primary function: making cars.

At times, it has been hard to escape the impression that this woke crusade has come at the expense of the day-to-day running of the business.

Perhaps it’s nothing more than a coincidence that JLR was the victim of a devastating cyber attack just months after it committed commercial harakiri with the launch of a “Barbie pink” car.

However, it is a simple fact that time spent needlessly obsessing about how to be progressive is time not spent on more important matters, such as ensuring customer data are safe from criminals.

Jaguar went from promoting this car branding in 2015…

…To this, less than a decade later:

In Liberal Fascism, Jonah Goldberg wrote, “There’s a reason liberal economists joke that General Motors is a health-care provider that makes cars as an industrial by-product.” Jag went one better — they decided to stop making the cars as well.