TITANIA MCGRATH: The warmth of the collective.

Now that we’ve reached 2026, surely it’s time to try this system again. Our new era has already begun, with Zohran Mamdani taking over as Mayor of New York. For those who don’t know, Mamdani is a devout Muslim who has promised to make New York a “sanctuary city” for the LGBT+ community. It’s what the Prophet Mohammed would have wanted.

Some bigots have argued that homosexuality is incompatible with the Islamic faith. But in fact, homophobia is extremely rare in Muslim-majority countries. This is why there isn’t a single LGBT+ community centre in the whole of Afghanistan. Everyone is so tolerant that there is simply no need for them.

Since taking power, Mamdani has declared that “we will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism”. No sane person could possibly argue with this logic. If it’s a choice between being warm or frigid, I know which I’d prefer. Indeed, during Stalin’s time he built a range of holiday camps called “gulags”, where residents often slept shoulder-to-shoulder in crammed rooms. Just imagine how warm and non-frigid that was.

Heh, indeed. Though given how much global warming New York received today, perhaps hizzoner should dial back on that whole “warmth of collectivism” thing. No need to speed up the heating up of the planet and/or Fun City: