ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS NO ONE IS ASKING: Clavicular’s cult of ‘looksmaxxing’ speaks to the narcissism of our age.

Don’t you hate it when you’re mid-jestergooning, and a group of foids comes and spikes your cortisol levels? We’ve all been there – and it raises the valid question of whether ignoring the foids while munting and mogging moids is more useful than SMV chadfishing in the club.

If those words are completely incomprehensible to you, that means you are enviably offline. A brief translation: ‘jestergooning’ is a derogatory term for the act of making a woman laugh in an attempt to sleep with her. A ‘foid’ is a woman and a ‘moid’ is a man. To have one’s cortisol levels spiked is to be aggravated and stressed out. To ‘mog’ someone is to intimidate them, usually by way of superior physical attractiveness. ‘SMV’ is an acronym, standing for ‘sexual market value’ (how attractive people find you). ‘Chadfishing’ is a play on ‘catfishing’ – trying to fraudulently convince others you are a ‘chad’, or a desirable male. ‘Munting’, as far as I can tell, has no meaning in this context at all.

The above wordsalad came from a now legendary viral post on X about a 20-year-old online influencer and streamer known as Clavicular (real name Braden Peters). He achieved fame – or, more accurately, infamy and ridicule – for being a ‘looksmaxxer’. That is, a member of the online subculture-come-cult dedicated to making oneself more physically attractive, by any means necessary.

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