LET HE WHO HAS NOT INJECTED HIS PENIS WITH HYALURONIC ACID CAST THE FIRST STONE: Are ski jumpers enhancing their penises to fly further? WADA is ready to investigate.

The Winter Olympics has long been a battleground for marginal gains. Just look at the International Bobsleigh and Skeleton Federation (IBSF) banning the new helmets Great Britain had planned to wear next week due to their aerodynamic ridges.

Thursday, however, took things to a new level in Milan Cortina — ski jumpers allegedly injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid in order to fly that little bit further.

The claims were originally reported in German newspaper Bild, in January on the eve of the latest Winter Olympics beginning in Italy and subsequently addressed by the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) president Witold Banka during a press conference.

So far, so lurid, but there is science behind the allegations. Injecting the penis with acid would increase its size and give the ski jumpers bigger genitalia at the point their suits are measured by 3D scanners.

Temporarily enhanced measurements would theoretically mean athletes being given a bigger, looser suit and, like a sail catching wind, could allow them to make longer jumps. Research from the scientific journal, Frontiers, published last October said that a 2cm change in a suit represented an extra 5.8 metres in the length of a jump.

If injecting your old chap with acid can lengthen your ski jump, does checking the wind direction and dressing to the right or the left impact the distance as well?