TO BE FAIR, THEY ARE A BLESSING OF LIBERTY: David French Will Say Anything For A Paycheck.

The evil right-wing media just made up a totally fake controversy about Cracker Barrel, you see.

Every paragraph of French’s column is a strawman. Every claim is obviously false. He’s not even sort of describing surface-level reality. David French now gets paid to point at cows and say, “That’s definitely not a cow.” He’s a fabulist, and a talentless one. His sole value is that he gets to cosplay “conservative” while mindlessly doing all of the dumb leftist tropes, giving correct-thinking cadre the very small thrill of feeling righteous about the people they hate. He’s a professional reassurance artist: Yes, New York Times readers, people you disagree with are always wrong and never have a point about anything. Thanks, David, here’s a nickel.

So.

You must be blind and amnesiac, because French explains this about the “good jeans” thing with Sydney Sweeney, the other recent branding controversy that he discusses alongside the Cracker Barrel thing: “There was no actual groundswell of opposition to Sweeney.”

No, seriously: “There was no actual groundswell of opposition to Sweeney.” David French just wrote this sentence and got it published in The New York Times.

Right-wingers just made it all up, calculatedly stoking outrage about something that wasn’t even real: “But if there’s a conflict between telling the truth and stoking outrage, time and again, the right chooses outrage.” Read these paragraphs carefully, and watch how casually this man lies:

Exit quote: “This man is a shameful figure. He never so much as passes truth in the street. His schtick is too obvious now to pretend that he’s doing anything but a ‘real conservative’ minstrel show for pay. Imagine living that way.”

On the other hand, a lot of people in the Northeast Corridor have made an excellent living doing just that for decades:

(Classical reference in headline.)