UM, OK: Maduro decrees Christmas will start in October as Venezuela cracks down on dissent.

“September smells like Christmas!” Maduro said in his weekly television show on Monday, to the apparent delight of his audience.

“This year and to honor you all, to thank you all, I am going to decree the beginning of Christmas on October 1. Christmas arrived for everyone, in peace, joy and security!” he said.

Maduro’s decree – not the first of its kind, but the earliest – comes as Venezuela grapples with the fallout from July’s presidential election, which saw Maduro claim a third term despite global skepticism and outcry from the country’s opposition movement.

Also by decree, underwear will be changed every half hour and worn on the outside so he can check.