HOWARD STERN FINALLY GOT COVID, BACK TO LOCKDOWN:

To be clear, it wasn’t only Covid that turned Stern into a depressing sponge. It was also Donald Trump.

Stern spends hours a week on his radio show complaining about Trump, calling him a Nazi, and foreshadowing a bloody civil war between MAGAs and wokes.

“I am a woke motherfucker, and I love it,” Stern declared last month. “I support people who want to be transgender. I’m for the vaccine. I won’t get behind Trump.”

He is, admittedly, on Team Woke.

Today’s Howard Stern is what happens when years of fear and indignation take over an already neurotic figure.

He’s Stephen King with a microphone. He’s Keith Olbermann with a wife and slightly less severe case of psychosis. And he’s headed back to the basement.

“It’s time to go back down into lockdown,” said Stern. “I’m just emerging and now I’m going back into lockdown.”

No word yet if Stern will reemerge from his basement on the third day for his resurrection, ala then-CNN anchor Chris Cuomo:

Exit question: What Happened to Howard Stern?