GOT WOKE, WENT BROKE: Anti-Capitalist Cafe Closes After 1-year, Shocking No One.

[Gabriel] Sims-Fewer then offered a fitting send-off at the end of the statement. One that makes it seem like the only people in Toronto angrier than Maple Leafs fans are the city’s anarchists.

“F–k the rich. F–k the police. F–k the state. F–k the colonial death camp we call ‘Canada.’”

Do you mean to tell me people weren’t lining up to patronize this dude’s shop?! WHAT?!

But fear not anarchists living in Canada’s most expensive city. He says he’ll be back with new ventures that are likely just as doomed to fail as the coffee joint.

It’s too bad Portlandia went off the air — their stories would be writing themselves in 2023.