ANSWERING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS: Neighbors Solve Mysterious NJ Pasta Dump Case.

Neighbors said that the oodles of noodles came from a nearby home that is up for sale. A military veteran moving out of his mother’s home after her death seemingly found a stockpile of old food that she had kept in the house.

“I mean, I really feel like he was just trying to clear out his parents’ house and they were probably stocked up from COVID,” said neighbor Keith Rost, saying it’s a generational thing. “My grandparents always had a cupboard full of cans and pasta, just to be safe.”

No matter the facts of the matter, the pictures still went viral, with captions saying things like the lead suspect is a man by the name of Al Dente (get it?). Or, don’t forget his partner in crime, Lin Guini (hah). Others wondered if whoever did dump the food will be sent to penne-tentiary (OK, that one was pretty good). And it wasn’t known if what was left there was pasta expiration date (last one, we swear).

As a character said in Woody Allen’s The Purple Rose of Cairo, “In New Jersey anything can happen.”